According to this (ahem) scientific study, looking at women’s breasts prolongs men’s lives.
Looking at the breasts of well-endowed women prolongs ’em even more:
“There’s no question: Gazing at large breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half,” said [Dr. Karen] Weatherby, who even recommended that men aged over 40 should spend at least 10 minutes daily admiring breasts sized “D-cup” or larger.
She said that this was as healthy as going to the gym for 30 minutes daily and prolonged a man’s life by five years.
Hey, the scientist is named Weatherby, so that’s extra points in my book.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a scientific study that was published in two journals at the same time, though. The New England Journal of Medicine sounds like a reputable outfit, but I don’t know about the other one….
…the Weekly World News.
h/t: Squeaky Wheel.
Hey, if it gets my wife topless more often, I am not above using this as leverage… 😉
Excellent! I think I’ll use this as an ice breaker. “Hi! Would you like to prolong my life?” ::gaze::
This can’t be right; I had a heart attack at 53, and according to this, I should be practically immortal…
So does this mean one can write off any visits to a strip-club or a nudie magazine as part of a medical deductable? It’s preventative medicine, after all.
Somehow I doubt the IRS would allow it. Maybe if they looked at the other kinds of figures they’d lighten up a bit.
What really sucks is that the Weekly World News is doing the type of groundbreaking research that NIH is not doing. I’m not really big on government funded medical research, but this is too important to let languish. Now to go find some of this life-prolonging remedy…
There is a G-d