In the “People Ruin Everything†column for the week, I have two Hollywood Kings of Jackassery doing their damnedest to ruin Sherlock Holmes.
Robert Downey Jr. is set to star in Sherlock Holmes, director Guy Ritchie’s feature drama about the fictional detective. This latest incarnation of the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle character is based on an upcoming comicbook from producer Lionel Wigram which portrays Holmes as less stuffy and more adventurous, using physical prowess along with intellect to solve mysteries.
First of all, Guy Ritchie is even dumber than Sean Penn because he saw that train wreck and still concluded that marrying Madonna would be “a good ideaâ€. That, and he’s a hack.
Secondly, one of the last things I look for in an actor to play Holmes is an ability to accurately portray the detective’s junkie side. That, and Downey’s accent abilities are Teh Fail.
And physical prowess? Puh-leez. On my worst day I could pick the little bugger up by back loop of his Levi’s and midget toss him.
Anyone with an opinion worth listening to knows the only person currently living who could be the part is Alan Rickman (with Mark Williams as Dr. John H. Watson, James Broadbent as Mycroft Holmes, and Roger Lloyd Pack as Professor James Moriarty).
I’m giving the Ritchie project a 75% likelihood of failure. And I’m being very kind.
And from the same article, Sherlockian buffoonery
The project is set to start production this fall, ahead of Columbia Pictures’ presumably more comic Sherlock Holmes movie, which stars Sacha Baron Cohen as the pipe-smoking sleuth and Will Ferrell as his assistant, Watson.
15 minutes of laughs surrounded by 65 minutes of yawn. Just like Talledega Nights, only with wool tartan trenches.
Fuck, I really dislike Hollywood.
Shit, this bit of news just put a damper on the whole day.
Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce absolutely nailed it, and all that follow are imitators. Just like Elvis imitators, an interesting novelty, but not the genuine article…..
Mr. C.
The current (dead now I think) guy from the PBS series is pretty good, but I just can’t see DowneyJr. except with his experience as the “Drug-addict Holms” that the anti-establishment loves so much…
My favorite take on the Holmes franchise was Without a Clue starring Michael Caine and Ben Kingsley. Laughed my ass off.
Agreed; if we’re going to mess with the Sherlock Holmes image, Guy Ritchie is too much of a pussy to do it. I want to see John Woo direct so we get to see Webleys shot sideways, with Jason Statham as Watson and David Bowie as Sherlock Holmes. We all know Hollywood is putting out crap movies mostly, so why not make the crap so ridiculous we can at least laugh at it.
Hollywood? Meh. I try not to think about ANY genre Hackywood might gin up a film in, because today, they can mess up a sure thing, and usually do.
I can’t wait until some fool of a producer tries out a “new look” at a John Wayne script, say “Stagecoach”.
That, of course, would set the standard a bunch lower than it is today.
Sherlock Holmes based on a comic book! Please spare us the 21st century metro-sexual version of a comic book Sherlock Holmes brought to life on the big screen.
Basil Rathbone had it alright, that is when I watched em as a kid. Now-a-days though, I’d have to agree that Jeremy Brett is (was since he died in 1995) the definitve Sherlock Holmes. If you are a Sherlock Holmes fan, and if you have never seen the version of Sherlock Holmes adventures in which Brett stars – well you should make every effort to do so. Absolutely outstanding.
All the best,
GB