Random Nuclear Strikes

The football season, of course. And not that other “football” that is only entertaining when the ladies of the Occidental Tush Institute Varsity team play it.

In reference to the sentiments in the closing of my post from yesterday, things have only gotten worse around OTI. It all started just before lunch in the North Dorm where two of the girls went at it in a rather entertaining, but possibly dangerous, lingerie-flinging cat-fight.

When the Dorm Mistresses were finally able to get the two apart, the each of the girls made threats and, because of OTI rules, we had to ask them to leave the grounds for the next ten days. This is a standard suspension and as long as the two don’t have any problems off campus, they’ll be let back and their records cleared at the end of the school year.

Ms. Cassandra made reference to the fact that Ms. Bonita will need to sleep at some point in the near future.

Ms. Cassandra went to stay at one of OTI’s beach cabins not too far away to cool off because, while they live at seperate ends of the 3rd floor, we had to take what she said seriously, even if it was said in the heat of the moment, after the threat made by Ms. Bonita.

To be specific, Ms. Bonita said, and I quote from the report,

“I’m gonna rip Jerome Bettis’ nuts off like a paper towel!”

Her affinity for the Seattle team was unknown to us. Her hair color is in constant change, so we didn’t catch the blue reference, which started about three weeks ago.

Ms. Bonita was also offered a cabin at a different location, but she refused and took off on her motorcyle. Her whereabouts are currently unknown since the state police took this picture of her after pulling her over for speeding, but the Steeler’s security people have been notified and we doubt that she’ll be hard to spot. If you see her, make sure you don’t have any black and yellow on or you may suffer the fate she has set for Bettis.

There are also OTI security personnel watching Ms. Cassandra’s cabin.

I just hope that was the worst of it.

Howdy everyone! It’s the Professor once again and I have just one question for you; “Are you ready for some Booty?”

I certainly hope so, because I need help to know who to root for. As you all know, I’m much more into topless volleyball than I am major league sports involving men, so I know of the teams, but I don’t know bumpkis else about what is going on tomorrow.

On the one had, we’ve got the Kid, who doesn’t seem to be much of a football fan, but he is in Seattle, so he’s got to have some wish for his town’s team to win this.

And on the other hand, we’ve got David, another fellow poster of RNS fame, who has been rooting for the Steelers since childhood.

I don’t want to start any interblog rivalries here, but I’ve assembled two of my students who are from the home towns of each of the teams playing in what I’ve heard called “The Big Dance”.

Hey, it’s sweaty men running around in a grass field in tights, if they break out doing the watoosee, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least. Myself, I prefer to to go buck than ever put on skintight fabric.

But back to the girls, I am letting them wear their team colors, but no logos.

Up first, for the Seattle Seahawks: Ms. Kanji

Ms. Kanji’s parents have season club level seats in the new Qwest Field stadium and have had season tickets every year, going back to 1984. She says that she bleeds blue and green, and would gladly do so for her team to win.

Let’s all hope it doesn’t come to that.

Next up, for the Pittsburg Steelers: Ms. Megan

Ms. Megan hasn’t spoken much these last two weeks, especially when Ms. Kanji is in the vicinity. Then, it is mostly growls. Ms. Megan has this logo tattoo, that, while I know all tattos are painful, oh my goodness, I would have only done that to someone to extract national secrets from them.

So there you have it folks, let the games begin.

I know that I will have to split my time between two dorms tomorrow, as putting these two ladies in the same building during the game could be like two Beta fish in one bowl.

Beautiful, but someone’s gonna die.

My wife and I have been hooked on the new Battlestar Galactica series on the Sci-Fi channel. We watched our first episode two weeks ago, and it was so good (even dropping into the middle of a story arc where we had no idea who the characters were), that we immediately ran out and bought the miniseries and first season on DVD and have been watching two or three episodes a night to catch up. The writing and overall quality was excellent to begin with and it hasn’t let up. As a result, we’re getting short on sleep — each night, we find it’s past our bedtime but we plaintively look at each other and say in unison, “one more?”

Anyway, the main title theme is a haunting melody that is apparently a Westernized version of the Gayatri mantra, the highest mantra in Hinduism. (I’m told that in India, it’s so pervasive that it plays at the beginning of movies in theaters.) I attended a Hindu funeral recently, and the Gayatri recited there was unexceptional, just another of many mantras. But as arranged by composer Richard Gibbs, it’s quite beautiful and affecting. Take thirty seconds out of your day and have a listen: battlestar.galactica.theme.2004.mp3

If that doesn’t sound like a good main title theme for an action-oriented drama developed with obvious parallels to 9/11, well, you’ll have to watch the show. It works very, very well played over the opening montage. The meaning of the lyrics doesn’t hurt, either.

A final note: I think it’s significant that there aren’t any Hindu fanatics threatening to retaliate against the Battlestar Galactica production crew for using a sacred prayer in a Western TV series. Contrast that with these people. Makes sense that Caspar Weinberger would be saying that the road to America’s success mid-century runs straight through India, historically hostile to certain other cultures.

The next episode of Battlestar Galactica airs tonight. Watch it! It really is “the best show on television.”