In case you missed it, Uncle started a meme with his post on the Audi Superbowl ad.
The commercial should have ended with a guy in a big ass Ford Earthfuckertm that gets 5 miles per gallon with seats made from baby seals blowing past the roadblock billowing smoke. And, for effect, the driver flips them off. I’d buy that car. Not this little compliant pansy car. You appeal to Americans in an ad by showing rebellion and general orneriness. Not passiveness, compliance, or sheepishness.
FYI, I found the Ford Earthfucker
Btw, almost a year ago I bought the Ford Earthfucker Parkable Edition
His name is Bull and fitting him into one or two standard parking spots is only like parking the moon and not a medium sized planet.
Dare ya to mount a Ford EARTHFUCKER (TM) sticker on Bull’s tailgate.
I’m planning to purchase a similar truck in the next couple of months. I’m going to put one of those “Earth first! We’ll strip mine the other planets later!” bumper stickers on the back bumper. It’s sure to tick off any tree-hugging dirt-worshipper I come across.
D.W., put that sticker next to one for the Taurus Judge.
David, have a new meme sticker made up: “My pistols are Open Carried, AND they can kill you at 500 yards”, then put THAT next to your Earthfucker and Strip Mine stickers.
Real-world question: Does anyone make a Light/Medium Duty pickup with a diesel option? Back in the late 70’s, there were all sorts of mini-trux with mini-diesels in them, but none now. Mahindra is going to import one soon, may have already started with the first imports in TX, but why are none of the other truck makers following suit?
Oh, I forgetz almost…there appears to be a lot of aftermarket stuff on that truck, Phil, why isn’t it listed in the ad?
Dodge was planning to put a small Cummins V8 diesel in the Ram 1500 this MY, but that got all goobered up as part of the Daimler/Ceberus/Gummint Motors bankruptcy fiasco.
http://www.cleveland.com/business/index.ssf/2009/06/chrysler_to_dump_cummins_diese.html
‘Tis a pity, as there are a lot of us who think such a combo is a great idea. I do choke a little, however, on the additional $4-8k for the diesel option. Thanks, CARB…
I dunno, RD. I’m not their marketing guy.
Small Diesels? I had one of the original Toyota Diesels in a 4X4 and it was an OK unit. Problem is federal regulations that were put in place thanks to Lee Iaccoca as part of the original Chrysler bailout killed ay further import. That is why Mercedes and VW CARS were for the longest time the only choice in a small diesel. Some of that is getting eased and there is a possibility of more showing up but not anytime soon. Toyota has a couple of seriously kick ass versions of diesel trucks available overseas but not importable.
As for the monsters though, misbeHaven and I have almost matching Chevy Earthfucker 2500HD 4X4’s, hers is extracab longbed and mine is crewcab shortbed. It’s satisfying to be riding with her and have her back it into a parking space in a crowded lot and step out to the amazed gawk of bystanders that she is the one driving and put the truck in it’s place so easily. She’ll even do that with a trailer on the back. Had one guy even ask me if I could teach his wife to do that and I told him, “she came that way!”
Congratulations, TX! When parking a truck-trailer combo in a difficult space makes your wife orgasm, I’d say you’ve won the game of life.
I had a half ton GMC with their old 6.2 liter diesel. It got 20 mpg in town, but the EPA told them they couldn’t do that in a half ton anymore. The good old simple, efficient, and reliable diesels couldn’t pass the smog test either, so, to save the planet, the .gov mandated all sorts of stuff that kills the mpg and fills up the junk yards with engines that don’t last as long.
I had a conversation once with a coworker about large SUVs, and said that I thought the Suburbans were the largest. He said no, Ford made something bigger, but he could not recall the model name.
Later in the day he emailed me one word: Expedition. I thought it was an offer to go get lunch at first, but he explained that was the name of the model.
They no longer make the Expedition. If they did, it could be undoubtedly be gotten in a high level edition with the “Expedition Earthfucker” logo.
Excursion. The Expedition is F-150 based and is still in production.
The Excursion was F-250 based and they stopped production a few years back…
And a one ton four wheel drive Excursion was only available with the V10 guzzline or the diesel. V8 wasn’t even an option. And it would not fit in a standard sized garage.
Bull is still a might short. Need double doors like the first photo, an eight foot box (looks like Bull has that!) AND, dual real wheels. That 1-1/2 extra feet of width makes everything a challenge. I read somewhere that Ford was considering a smaller, or detuned, diesel for the F-150. No idea if that is real or just wishfull thinking. The extra money for the diesel is no big deal when you pull a trailer. The power is awesome! My F-350 can usually be doing 70 at the end of most interstate entrance ramps, pulling a 7000 lb. trailer. Crew cab, long box duallies are roughly 23 feet long (add a foot if you leave the hitch on). True for my 85 Chevy, 2000 Ford or 2008.
Kieth: I still have my old 6.2L diesel K-10 Silverado. It still gets 20 MPG in town.
Cold dead hands …
KEITH,
Yup on the “green” revolution of the diesels sucking. One of my co instructors at KRTraining has a brand new 3500HD with the latest version of the Duramax and hates his mileage. The new afterburner that is on this beast really sucks fuel that does nothing to drive the vehicle. They use more fuel to after-burn the exhaust to clean it up!
Old room mate had an Olds Delta 88 with the Olds 350 conversion diesel in it like they put in the original Chevy trucks. 115K miles on it when the transmission finally went and he just didn’t want to bother fixing it.
We’ve got a big Chevy 4500 flatbed with the duramax. I was hauling a stock trailer thinking I had plenty of fuel until it started burning out the particulate filter. I barely made it to town. My brother had the same problem on his ’09 Ford. He parked it on the shoulder way up in the panhandle and I had to take fuel to him. Now he won’t let it get below half a tank if he can help it.
That’s no moon…
Yer right. It is a battle station.
Holy cow. I can’t stop laughing so hard the tears are pouring out. Just when I thought I had it under control, along comes Zercool’s comment.
I have one of them Earthfuckers myself. 2006 Ford F-150 crew cab 5.4 Liter V-8. Not as Earthfucking as I’d like it to be, but one of these days…
Me, I’ll keep my own Earthfucker. 94 F150, with a pushrod 351. Gets somewhere in the neighborhood of 14 MPG in mixed driving, and they can have it when they drag it out of my kung-fu deathgrip.
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