In the Interim: Week 2, Day 2

Hello again. Today I’ll be providing an introduction into Bosomology.

But first, Reader Mail! I’ve never had reader mail before, so we’ll get this done first.

A gentleman stopped by yesterday and asked about prospective student advocacy. My reply is that we take applications from any and all women from age 18 to 25. They need to have certain qualifications including prior modelling experience and preferably a portfolio, as well as some kind of community/club activity (topless charity carwashes are a plus).

Each propsective student is required to supply at least five references, none of whom can be related to the applicant in any way, and we then call those references and ask them some rather pointed questions about the applicant that we have had scientifically tested for the questions ability to get to the truth.

If the applicant is selected (only 100 new students were selected this year out of nearly 400 applicants), then they are required to present themselves to an in-person questioning session by the CDS staff. This weeds out those who would not use the powers we will give them for good. There were 59 students accepted this year out of that 400.

I hope that answers the question. If you have someone in mind who would benefit from the schooling they would receive from us at the Cleavage Discovery School, they need just email Professor Booty with their pictures and information and he will forward them onto me.

And now, to the science that is Bosomology.

A nice set of breasts go a long way towards a succesful modelling career. I’m not talking about the skinny little tramps that walk up and down runways, I’m speaking of the women you see every time you open up a magazine. And as is mother nature’s funny little joke, a nice set of breasts only come naturally in very rare occasions, which is where I come in.

another one of nature’s little jokes is that a person’s opinion about a nice pair of breasts is subjective upon the viewer and not the owner. Factors include size, shape and decoration. But there are some universal qualities upon which everyone can agree.

While most preferences go to the extremes, either large or small, a happy medium pleases most everyone. Which is why we look to increase A’s to B’s, but never attempt to increase DD’s to DDD’s.

I could, quite literally, write all day and night about the different qualities of various mammaries, and most folks here would very likely enjoy that. However, I have places to go and cleavage to see, so I will leave you with some examples of our previous graduates in each category, some of whom I’m sure you will recognize.

For “Small”: Miss Elisa – 34B

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For “Medium”: Miss Erica – 38D

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For “Large”: Miss Veronica – 48DD

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No need to thank me for helping these women become what they are today. I was my pleasure.

Posted in Kewel! | 3 Comments

They’d better start sucking up now

This just in from the International Useless Debating Society of Turtle Bay, NYC.

Senior officials at the United Nations expressed despair today at the prospect of Kofi Annan being succeeded as secretary general by Ban Ki-Moon, the South Korean foreign minister.

“The mood among staff is glum,” one of the officials said. “We are not very excited about the outcome.” With morale low at the UN after five years dominated by divisions, deadlock and corruption, they are sceptical about Mr Ban’s ability to turn the organisation round or provide the strong, inspirational leadership they had been hoping for.

Actually, they’re just depressed that they won’t have a another honcho who is a conniving rat-bastard dictator-enabler from a third world shithole where slavery is still legal.

The depression stems from their worry that someone from a first world nation may just be able to lead them out of their corrupt ways. Meaning that a bunch of them will not be getting any more free kickback money for a while.

Another official, who has met Mr Ban several times, said: “He is pretty faceless and does not have much charisma. Kofi, for all his problems, is a man of considerable dignity, political insight and wide international experience.”

I’d want to stay anonymous too if I were standing up for a man who singlehandedly helped fatten the pockets of his relatives on the backs of the Iraqi people via the Oil for Food debacle, whose IAEA let North Korea build, test and stockpile nuclear weapons right under their noses, and sat on his hands during the ethnic cleansing of millions on his home continent.

And, of course, let us not forget Srebrenica.

If Kofi “Accomplice to Mass Murder” Annan had taken just one fucking phone call and then made another single phone call to green-light the bombing of the hostile Serb forces surrounding the town of Srebrenica, over 8000 Bosnians might still be alive today.

But he didn’t. Whatever he was having for lunch that day was just too tasty. It must have tasted like death, because we all know that is what Kofi likes.

I have never met or spoken to Mr. Ban or anyone around him. But I have no idea how he could be as bad or worse than the worthless puke currently holding the title.

Especially after reading this:

Officials, who requested anonymity on the grounds that they would be working for Mr Ban, portray him as more secretary than general, happier with the minutiae of administrative detail than broad international strategy, and a man given to platitudes.

What, you mean he doesn’t want to shape the world to his vision? Bring him on.

Posted in Life in the Atomic Age | 2 Comments

It’s not funny because it’s true

Out of Iowa

A new Republican television ad links Democratic congressional candidate Bruce Braley to the Communist Party and says he’s supported by “ultra liberals.”

The ad, which began running Friday, prompted the Braley campaign to label it a “joke.”

The ad says Braley was endorsed by the Council for a Livable World and was called a “peace candidate” by the Communist Party.

The council, the new ad says, advocates “huge defense cuts” and has a leader that once proposed negotiating with the Taliban.

It concludes by saying Braley’s support from “ultra liberals” shows he’s “out of touch” with Iowa.

Jeff Giertz, a Braley spokesman, did not dispute the ad’s accuracy but said it is “over the top.”

If the ad is accurate, then the only reason he has for commenting on it is…..because he wants to complain about it being accurate.

Lie with pigs and you get caught up in their Animal Farm.

Posted in The Left is Never Right | Leave a comment

In the Interim: Day 1 Week 2

Hello, Dr. Brest here again, filling in for John Thomas Booty while he gets his asses in gear for the year.

Last week I introduced some of the staff at the Cleavage Discovery School and also showed you all some results of my instructional prowess.

This week, I’d like to show you around campus and introduce our star athelete.

At CDS, we have a very “proud” attitude towards our achievements and one of the most important rules for our students to learn is that they should not be ashamed or shy about their bodies. We encourage the students to display them at every opportunity, while on campus.

It is school policy that they be topless during instruction hours, including breaks between classes. This makes everyone “equal” so to speak, while maybe not in size, but that is what we’re all working towards.

Here is new student, Miss Isabel, having forgotten this rule, being reminded during breakfast in the cafeteria.

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Also at CDS, we have a number of athletic programs. Our school hosts not only the usual Vollyball and Cross-Country Cycling that Professor Booty has show you at the Occidental Tush Institute, but also an award-winning swim team.

Miss Chloe here is our top swimmer. As you can probably tell, her best match is the 100-Meter Breaststroke

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Like any proud athelete, when Miss Chloe wins, which she always does, she has a victory dance. It is something to behold.

I’ll be back tomorrow with more about the Cleavage Discovery Institute and possibly an introduction into the science that is Bosomology.

Have a good day.

Posted in Kewel! | 1 Comment

RNS Quote of the Day: 10/06/06

About 50 percent of all OSHA violations across the nation are for not keeping the forms correctly.

The Death of Common Sense – Philip K. Howard

Posted in Quote of the Day | Leave a comment

They want peace so bad

They’ll kill you for it.

The “World Can’t Wait” protest yesterday in Seattle, like the one in Portland, turned violent when a group of Seattle PD officers attempted to retrieve stolen property (a flag) from a couple of protesters.

The officers were immediately surrounded by a large group of protesters and they put in a radio call for backup. When backup arrived, they separated the crowd, but not without a few scuffles and a decent number of arrests.

You can go here and read the local media’s official story. Also watch the available video.

In the video, the reporter is trying to separate the black-bloc types who were involved from the rest of the protesters, but I have it on good authority that the self-styled “anarchists” weren’t the only ones involved.

It also seems as though they have stepped up their game a bit as a number of them had knives confiscated and one of them was arrested for bringing a rifle to the protest in general and the scuffle in particular.

Finally, a live one. Maybe, with his off-kilter politcal views and all, the guy doesn’t realize that he is now a bona fide target. If I see a rifle at a protest and I can assume that the person carrying it is not there to peacefully protest. They get followed until the time when I deem them a danger.

Posted in Useful Idiots | 2 Comments

The Dumbest Thing I’ve Read All Day: 10/06

The left may hold the majority of authors who write/say stupid things, but they are by no means the only ones.

Georgia Mother Seeks Harry Potter Ban

A suburban county that sparked a public outcry when its libraries temporarily eliminated funding for Spanish-language fiction is now being asked to ban Harry Potter books from its schools.

Laura Mallory, a mother of four, told a hearing officer for the Gwinnett County Board of Education on Tuesday that the popular fiction books are an “evil” attempt to indoctrinate children in the Wicca religion.

That must be why the students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry have a week long break for both Christmas and Easter; To promote Wicca.

I never would have guessed.

The WaPo article has a picture of Mallory holding up a brochure for a Wiccan summer camp. Now, I may be mistaken, but if her children want to go to said camp, all she has to do is say “No” and the little chilluns won’t be attending. It isn’t as if the Wiccans will magically know that little Johnny Mallory wants to go and whisk him away against Mama Mallory’s wishes.

If she is afraid of having to tell her kids “No”, then perhaps she should have thought about such things before taking hold of Mr. Mallory’s wand and birthing a quad of yard-apes.

I swear, some people’s parents just get on my last nerve.

Posted in Too Stupid to Live | 2 Comments

Have Whine, Will Travel

Yesterday it was MyDD whining about a supposed lack of Bush popularity polls, today it’s a bitchfest about NewsHour with Jim Lehrer not being “Fair”

The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, PBS’s flagship news program, touts its “signature style-low-key, evenhanded, inclusive of all perspectives”; Corporation for Public Broadcasting ombud Ken Bode called it “the mother ship of balance.” But a new FAIR study finds that the NewsHour fails to provide either balance or diversity of perspectives-or a true public-minded alternative to its corporate competition.

This statementis follwed by some statistics. Statistics which lack any kind of corresponding talk about the context of the shows themselves. Like this one

At a time when a large proportion of the U.S. public already favored withdrawal from Iraq, “stay the course” sources outnumbered pro-withdrawal sources more than 5-to-1. In the entire six months studied, not a single peace activist was heard on the NewsHour on the subject of Iraq.

Now, if the subject was, say “Why should we stay in Iraq?”, just how interesting a show would it be if every other source was a “peace activist”? The subject matter is still as damaging to the Iraq mission as a show about “Why we should leave Iraq?”, except that the viewers are listening to questions posed by a reasonable journalist/host instead of being subjected to a raving BDS sufferer.

Our good man David is the NewsHour expert around these parts, having watched this show for a couple of decades, but I frankly don’t see the problem here.

Posted in Color me confused | 1 Comment

The Wheels of Campaign Finance Reform Justice Grind Slow…

…but they grind exceeding fine, right? Well, looks like they’re not exactly grinding at all with respect to that infamous aspect of McCain-Feingold restricting ads by lobbying groups before an election.

Presently it seems to be the case that a group (not a PAC) intending to run an advertisement naming a federal candidate within the electioneering period, cannot obtain an injunction because of their inability to show a likelihood of success on the merits, cannot obtain a ruling in an as-applied challenge in the ordinary course because the time for running the ad will have come and gone, and cannot rely on any regulatory exceptions the FEC might author, because the FEC punted that opportunity.

It would seem the one recourse would be just to go ahead and run the ad, and define one’s constitutional rights in the resulting enforcement matter.  Which -  if the FEC pursues it to the courts, means we should have a judicial answer to this little puzzle in five to ten years.  At best.

–From the Skeptic’s Eye. RTWT, with links, here.

You don’t suppose McClown knew it was going to work out this way, do you? I can see his stump response now: “I’d love to comment on that constitutional question about my law, but gee whiz, the courts have it and we really ought to see how that works out first. In the meantime, vote for me!”

 

Posted in Academia and Other Nonsense | Leave a comment

Plot to Assassinate Bush?

Interesting story over at the Counterterrorism Blog about an Indonesian woman and 9kg of TNT. Bush will be in Indonesia November 20th.

Posted in Evil walks the earth | Leave a comment