You don’t talk about Bachelor Party!
Tits McGhee, whom I’ve spoken about here before, is getting married in a couple weeks and her Bachelorette Party was last Saturday. She had told me about it on Friday and I asked how it went when I got in to work yesterday evening.
Whereupon, she broke the first rule of Bachelor/Bachelorette parties, turned to me and told me a good number of the juicy details. As she was running them down, I started a checklist in my head about all the rules her party broke.
At least, I thought they were rules. I appears that some folks never got the memo. Since we’ve already covered number one (you just enthusiastically tell people it was the best time you’ve ever had and no more), we’ll cover the rest of them that I can remember off the top of my head.
This is your last night/weekend out on the town as a free man/woman. You are supposed to cut loose while trying to not break too many laws.
2. No Cameras. Would you take a camera to a murder? Do you think the kids who videotape themselves stealing/looting/vandalizing are idiots? Just as they are idiots, taking a camera to a Bachelor Party is idiotic. BAD!
3. No Married People – Spouses have a way of getting anything out of the other person. If you have a married guy at your party, his wife will soon know everything you don’t want her to and it’ll get back to your new significant other. BAD!Â
This is also known as one of the few incentives for guys to get married earlier than their friends. The last couple guys in the group to get married have some of the lamest parties.
4. No Co-Workers -Â Ever heard of “Water cooler chat”? Your party’s happenings won’t be secret for long. BAD!
5. No Relatives. Especially no relatives of the person you’re marrying. This one should be obvious. BAD!
OK, those are most of the major ones that Tits McGhee broke last Saturday. She not only had three co-workers with her, she had the groom’s sister. Only one of the girls who attended wasn’t married and two of the girls are married to the groom’s cousins.
Also, EVERYONE BROUGHT A CAMERA!
Shortly after Tits got done telling me the PG bits, she checked her emails to find the multitudes of pics from that night. Needless to say, her next hour was quite unproductive as she had to call the people who sent the pics and tell them to delete them. But too late, they had also sent them to the other girls (including the co-workers) who attended the party. And it went downhill from there. I’m sure I’ll be seeing emails and get pulled aside to be told about who did what where, etc., tomorrow when I get in.
The wedding is still on, but just like Lucy, “she has some splainin to do”.
If these rules sound a bit harsh, just think about the craziest shit you’ve ever done, double it, and then wonder why you’d want anyone knowing about it.
Since the statute of limitations is up, and you don’t know the guy, I’m gonna break radio silence on a friend’s party held a few months before I met the Analog Wife.
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