The Lazy Hummingbird

Posted on September 4, 2006 by Phil Kadath

Outside my office window is a huge Lavender bush. I say “huge” because it is over 12ft tall and 50ft long. The neighboring business uses it as a hedge.

After I get to work but before the sun goes down, a there is a hummingbird of some sort or another that flys along the hedge and grabs a meal. But the other day I saw it doing something I’ve never seen another hummingbird do.

It landed on a branch, sat there and started going through a pair of clustered lavender blossoms.

Granted, I’m not the world’s greated birdwatcher, but this still made me look twice.

I completely understand it taking a break to eat. I wouldn’t like having to always run and eat at the same time. But I had just never heard of them doing this before.

I blame the strong union presence.

Posted in Life in the Atomic Age | 2 Comments

Words of Wisdom

Posted on September 3, 2006 by Phil Kadath

I actually found these at a left-wing blog, but I suspect that they got them from some sort of chain email. They are, however, quite hammer-on-head-of-nail.

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

6. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

7. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

8. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

9. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

10. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

11. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

12. You should not confuse your career with your life.

13. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

14. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

15. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

I would actually like to modify that last one.

Here at RNS Blogstation Tacoma, I live the RNS Lifestyle: Live fast. Die old. Leave a body like John Wayne.

“Beef Week” helped with that.

Posted in Life in the Atomic Age | Leave a comment

New Students: Part 2

Posted on September 3, 2006 by Professor Booty

Today’s choice shall be much more difficult than the one I presented yesterday.

Both of these potential students are well referenced and amply suited for the coursework as you shall see.

Miss Amy just needs to learn to smile a bit, as she has a solid grasp of format posing.

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Miss Karrie is just the opposite. She couldn’t pose to save her behind, but she perfected her facials.

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Once again, I ask for your opinions.

Posted in Kewel! | Leave a comment

The Dumbest Thing I’ve Read All Day: 09/02

Posted on September 2, 2006 by Phil Kadath

You didn’t think I’d stop just because Saturday is here, did you?

Found in a qwik-links section at one of the larger leftist blogs was this guy named Brent, calling himself “The Liberal Country Fan”, and bitching that the Dixie Chicks weren’t going to be attending the Country Music Awards.

Country Music Association shames itself by withholding deserved nominations from the Chicks

As an optimist, I was hoping that this year the Country Music Association (CMA) would deliver the country music community’s long-overdue apology to the Dixie Chicks by nominating them for the CMA Awards they deserve.

Umm, let’s see here; when Rick Rubin produced their album he said that he thought of the Chicks as “a great rock act making a country album, not a country act making a rock album”.

And it is possible that Brent forgot, but back in January, Rubin told Rolling Stone Magazine “Instead of making a country album with a rock side, we wanted to do a rock album that leaned country, like Tom Petty or Gram Parsons.”

Maybe, instead of blaming the CMA, Brent should blame the Chicks and Rick Rubin. It seems as though it was their decision to not make a country album.

Parson’s awards were because he was 1. Influential, and 2. Pushed the edges of the genre. The Dixie Chicks have done neither. They’ve been pretty faces on an album cover and that is it.  Hell, this is their first album that they had writing credits for each of the songs, most of them were co-written by someone else, and the vast majority of the songs on their previous albums were entirely written by other people.

For the longest time the old school CMA wouldn’t even give Mr. Johnny Cash the courtesy of being included in the country music community, even though most everyone else though he was. And if this Chicks tweaker is going to try and say that they’re are of Cash quality, substance and talent, then he is not only very forgetful, but is truly a fool.

The Dixie Chicks said themselves that they didn’t want fans who didn’t think as they do, so the fans obey their wishes and left. Their album went #1 on the charts for a bit, but then sales died off and it is guestimated that the politcal left were the ones buying the albums, not the traditional country music fans. And according to the news a couple weeks back, those fans who did buy the album didn’t like it enough to see the Chicks on tour, because they’re cancelling shows left and right.

Sounds to me like the Chicks got exactly what they wanted and this guy’s feelings are just bruised.

Posted in Freaks, Mutants, and Morons, The Left is Never Right | Leave a comment

How do you get to Carnegie Hall?

Posted on September 2, 2006 by Phil Kadath

Practice, practice, practice.

And if you’re from Mexico, they have a “Fun Park” where you can do just that.

For $15, you can match wits with immigration

“Run! They’re on our tails!” shouted a man in a ski mask as he led 15 people down a steep ravine and into a thorn-infested thicket.

Gunshots pierced the night air. Sirens wailed. Then came a voice, sounding like the Border Patrol. “Don’t cross the river!” someone yelled in a heavy accent. “Go back to Mexico where you belong!”

Welcome to one of Mexico’s strangest tourist attractions:

A park where visitors pay $15 to hike across fields and through treacherous ravines, a grueling experience aimed at simulating an illegal journey across the U.S.-Mexico border.

“We want this to be an exercise in awareness,” said Alfonso Martinez, who acts as the chief smuggler at EcoAlberto Park in central Mexico. “It’s in honor of all the people who have gone in search of the American Dream.”

The park, funded in part by the Mexican government, compares crossing the border to an “extreme sport” and tells participants that they, too, can “trick the Migra,” slang for the Border Patrol.

The next attraction they’re going to build will simulate being left in a shipping container to die by your coyote.

Found at Right Thinking

Posted in Order of the imperial upraised middle finger. | Leave a comment

This is the fault of the state government

Posted on September 2, 2006 by Phil Kadath

So, of course, it never really made the national news cycle.

Louisiana not sure where Oregon Katrina payments are

A spokesman for the Oregon National Guard said Tuesday he expects a missing payment of $2.7 million for Hurricane Katrina aid soon, but Louisiana’s emergency preparations office says the payment situation remains “extremely convoluted.”

If the fed was in charge of these things, you can bet that every alphabet network would be looking for where the money went.

Posted in Armageddon | Leave a comment

New Students

Posted on September 2, 2006 by Professor Booty

It is the first wekend in September and I am getting ready for the upcoming school year, starting in a couple weeks.

I have only two spots left to fill for this year’s class, but four applicants. If I may ask for some assistance in the decision, you all can comment at your leisure. We’ll do two today and two tomorrow. The pics were sent in by the girls themselves, so please excuse any photographical flaws.

The first potential student I have is Miss Martina

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Her references aren’t so great and she is described as a bit vain my the people she chose to put on her application as references. It is never a good sign of the character of the student when they cannot even pick their friends.

However, she is rather well potentialled. The lines are definitely there, they just need to be molded. So I am torn.

The second student for today is Miss Luissa.

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While she does need serious helping of my technique, her references are outstanding. In fact, one of her friends says that Miss Luissa has idolized me for years. Always a sign of a student that will work hard to impress me with her advances.

So now, I implore you to help me with my decision.

I have left out where these girls are coming from so as not to prejudice anyone in the readership.

Posted in Kewel! | 2 Comments

Looking Back

Posted on September 1, 2006 by Phil Kadath

And never forgetting.

DANEgerus has a pictoral rememberance of September 1st, 2004 and the Beslan Massacre you should be interested in.

And if you’ll excuse me for a moment, I have a story I love to tell whenever talking about Chechens.

One of the drivers who occasionally works the late shift, Eduard, was born in 1969, three years before me, and was raised in the Belarus capital of Minsk. Shortly after his 18th birthday, Eduard was conscripted into the Soviet Army.

During his ‘basic training’, he was shuffled off to learn how to drive the Soviet troop and equipment carrying trucks. As soon as he was done in truck driving school, Moscow decided that the perfect place for Eduard to go was, you guessed it, Chechnia.

He only has three sentences worth of words to say about the Chechen muslims: “The lazy bastards. All they do is sit around smoking opinum and bitching about Moscow. When I bitched about Moscow, I had to be working.”

Another anecdote Eduard told me about his ‘basic training’ was that when they taught him how to shoot, he and another recruit were paired together and given one magazine worth of ammo. He blames Ronald Reagan. So do I. 

Eduard is a really nice guy. Because Eduard and I are so close in age, I’m very glad that Ronald Wilson Reagan came along and crashed the Soviet beast. I would have hated to have to shoot him.

Posted in Evil walks the earth | 1 Comment

An Update to Yesterday’ Post

Posted on September 1, 2006 by Phil Kadath

On the beating of the Washington National Guardsman.

A reader at Sound Politics has contact information for folks who would like to send cards and letters of support to the man.

SPC Powell
c/o DCSPER
Building 15
Camp Murray
Tacoma, WA 98430

Posted in Heroes, Comrades and Brothers | 1 Comment

Maury Povich as Government

Posted on September 1, 2006 by Phil Kadath

From RNS reader and blogger at the TargetRichEnvironment blog, Steve, comes news that the State of Delaware is going to be celebrating “National Child Support Month” by giving away free paternity tests!

Shantasia Binaird of the New Castle area wants her 4-year-old son to know who his father is — without any doubt — no matter what role the man ultimately plays in his boy’s life.

That’s why the 21-year-old said she and her son’s father hope to be among the first to sign up for a limited program of free paternity tests that state officials said Tuesday will be offered in all three counties. 

Mouth-swab DNA tests will be offered Sept. 18 to 22 at Division of Child Support Enforcement offices in all three counties, in connection with National Child Support Month, said Charles E. Hayward, director of the Division of Child Support Enforcement.

I wonder if they’ll be doing those suspenseful reveals?

BTW, Steve has some useful things to say about the mothers while counselling the kids, but I’m sure that he be willing to take other suggestions.

Posted in Freaks, Mutants, and Morons | 2 Comments