Rule #1: No Pooftahs!

Or, in this case, ‘No Boofdahs’.

One of the Klueless Kos Kids had a political disagreemant with her father over the 4th of July holiday (don’t these people know not to discuss politics during the holidays?) and writes about it at Nutroots Central. Her ‘handle’ at the dKos is, no kidding, “Boofdah”

Here are the offending remarks.

And here is the email that she sent off to her father after the gathering concluded.

It is a heartwarming piece about a reasonable ‘JFK Democrat’ who now votes (R), and his moonbat daughter who suffers from a severe case of Bush Derangement Syndrome. It could almost be an after-school special, but we’ll settle for a Sunday made-for-TV blog post.

Seeing as how this is a trivial post, I’ll ask a trivia question: Who can name the comedy team and the name of the sketch from which the title of this post is derived? Extra-worthless-bonus points for naming the episode and its number.

No using Google or Ask.

Posted in The Left is Never Right | 3 Comments

A Weeks Vacation

During the time that the site was down, I decided to say ‘screw it’ and spent a week on a small island where the Occidental Tush Institute owns property and just relax.

While there, I met  the lovely Miss Kathy, a vacationing Aussie who was fun to hang around with. Here she is at the main hotel’s outdoor lounge where we met. 

spankable125.jpg

Sadly, she had to go home after a couple of days, but luckily I met up with Miss Cherie. Cherie proved quite adept at avoiding the camera eye, but I am a crafty bastard if nothing else and, while calling her onto the deck on the front of the house, managed to remotely snap this one photo of her.

spankable126.jpg

My punishment was to have my favorite pair of beach shorts shredded and tossed into the Pacific. While I don’t mind suffering for my art, I’m sorely missing those shorts.

Yes, that is my silhouette, which, incidentally is my bad side.

See you all next weekend.

Posted in Kewel! | 1 Comment

Overheard on the Truckband Radio at Work Last Night

We had us a night crew rookie, who, of course, got stuck with the crappiest of the 50 or so hauls we did.

One of them sucks to haul because its usual contents consists of 20 cubic yards seafood of one type or another. This customer gets the fish, crab, lobster, etc right off the boats, but sometimes the stuff doesn’t get stored well and needs to be tossed immediately to keep it from ruining the rest of the shipment (Apples and fish, who knew?).

Anyway, the rookie arrives at the box around 0130 after it had sat in the 75-80 degree sun,  probably since around noon, and he is able to smell it before he sees it. As he gets back in the truck after loading the box on, he gives a great big thank you to whomever left it in his ‘To Do’ pile. The conversation follows as such:

Senior driver 1: Is it crab guts again tonight?

Rookie: Yep, and some rice too.

Senior driver 2: Rice? Where the hell did they get rice?

SD1: I’ve seen that rice before, Bill. Hey, Dean was the rice twitching?

R: Yeah, now that you mention it, it looked like it was, but I thought it was just a trick of the lights.

SD1: Yep, that is some of that special rice from Hoo Flung Dung. Tastes like hell.

Yes readers, we’re simple folk, but we have a good time. And you thought that trash truck you were following the other day smelled bad? We haul the really stinky stuff at night.

Posted in Life in the Atomic Age | 3 Comments

Good Saturday to You

It is I, Professor Booty, back again thanks to some excellent fellow named Craig. I hope he is well after dealing with all that gobbly-gook the Kid was telling me about. Me, probably the one person more clueless than the Kid himself on that subject.

But enough about that, I’m sure you’ve been wondering what, since I had all that free time on my hands, exactly I’ve been doing?

Well, I’ve been doing this

spankable122.jpg

And this,

spankable123.jpg

And this too.

spankable124.jpg

Have to stay busy. It keep you young.

Posted in Kewel! | 2 Comments

Sad Anniversary

July 7th, 2006.

One year ago today, the islamofascists forced their will upon the people of London.

The murderous bastards and their bretheren and their followers need to die. Sooner rather than later.

That is all I have to say about that.

flag.jpg

Posted in Armageddon | Leave a comment

Radio Suckage

Seattle radio sucks.

AM and FM, rock, pop, classical, country, sports and talk, all suck to infinity. There is, quite literally, no way known to man to measure how badly Seattle radio sucks. Sure, there a few high points, but mostly, it is just a broadcasted black-hole. I’ve got 24 full presets covering both modulations, and I’ll just say that I listen to a lot of CDs when I’m in the truck.

But, as I drive from one of my offices to another, at 0100, I don’t generally listen to my CDs because the length of drive is only around three minutes. Instead, I flit through the channels.

Lately, I’ve decided that the loony left is entertaining. This may change at just about any time. Without provocation, I may listen to yet another playing of Zep, Skynrd, Nirvana, etc for those three minutes, but I currently listen to the local Air (central) America affiliate during that timespan.

Last night as I drove from my secondary office to my main one, “The Majority Report”, Garofolo’s show (which she hasn’t been on in a while) was on, and some random chucklehead, whose name I cannot remember, was talking. Apparently now even Seder, Garofolo’s ‘co-host (aka: the one who knows what he’s doing on-air), can’t show up to talk. This sub-guy was so out of his gourd that I had to sit in the cab and wait until the commercial break to go inside the building.

The focus of that hour’s intro/monologue was the death of Ken Lay. Now, I understand that 1. Ken Lay was not a well liked man (to say he was hated by a lot of people would not be an understatement), and 2. Leftists are insane, but good lord, even I don’t know anyone this unhinged.

It started out with “Was it a hit? Was it suicide? Is he really dead?” for around two minutes, going into how White House Press Secretary, Tony Snow, would spin it if it was ever found out that Lay entered the Witness Protection Program. The next four minutes or so started out with “How about the brevity of the autopsy? That’s suspicious!” and moved right on into how the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals MAY overturn Lay’s conviction because:

A. He plead ‘Not Guilty’

B. He hadn’t been sentenced yet

C. He’s dead, meaning he is unable to appeal his conviction.

The random chucklehead host went on and on about how terrible it would be if Lay’s conviction was overturned. Apparently, he is forgetting the first part of item C above.

Just what does this guy (and the folks on the left) want? To get Lay’s rotting corpse sentenced and put it behind bars? Are they that desperate to put someone identified with Bush in prison?

Libby better get himself a teflon suit. If he gets convicted, the leftists may just storm the courtroom and tear him limb from limb, which they’ll later blame on PTSD caused by their loss of satisafaction with Lay’s case.

Posted in Freaks, Mutants, and Morons | 7 Comments

Another Thank You

Mack around the middle of May I asked y’all your opinons on the Harry Potter series of books. I got a decent number of responses and decided to spend the funds.

I’m happy to say that in the seven weeks since I opened my first one, I have enjoyed reading the first four books and started the fifth one yesterday. That said, I had seen the films before reading the books in the case of the first four. Starting this fifth one without having seen the theatrical release has caused me some reservations about turning the first page.

The reservations are thus: I worry about being disappointed by anything coming to the big screen. One of the things I’ve always disliked about people turning books into movies is that shredding of the original material, and these stories are no exception.

All of the questions I had left in me from watching the movies were, of course, answered by the books, and I know that I would have been disappointed if I had read the books before plunking my ass down in the theater.

Which is why, at this time were are going to continue my little tradition of cursing the names of the screenwriters who mangle books when they turn them into feature films (I could care less if the author OK’d the chopping, they should have never had to been asked).

Granted, the Rowling is no Joyce or Chaucer, but frankly I can’t stand either of those two writers. The series is fun to read, so long as you don’t mind a bit of mockery from other adults.

In the case of the first four movies, one individual has been responsible for putting the original stories through, what I like to call “The Screenwriter’s Abattoir”, this man is Steven Kloves. Mr. Kloves, may your children see what you’ve done to these stories, and give you only ugly ties for as birthday gifts for the rest of your life as a punishment.

The fifth movie is being adapted by one Michael Goldenberg. Let us hope he does a bit better.

There, now that that is over with, off I go for a haircut and then it be bunk time.

Posted in Order of the imperial upraised middle finger., Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Wish there were more like him

On Monday, none other than Kos himself decided that this statement by Joe Lieberman (whom Kos is furiously campaign against) was worthy of mockery.

I have loyalties that are greater than those to my party.

Apparently, Kos believes that your political party is to come ahead of all else, including your own personal beliefs, the constituents who elected you to represent them and the country to which you made an oath to serve and protect.

Bush Derangement Syndrome will do that to you.

And it’ll do this too.

Posted in Freaks, Mutants, and Morons | 8 Comments

The Road to Energy Independence

Yeah, it’s a week old, but I was ‘indisposed’ at the time. Anyway, I was just happy to read about it.

House Votes to End Offshore Drilling Ban

The House voted Thursday to end a quarter-century offshore drilling ban and allow energy companies to tap natural gas and oil beneath waters from New England to Alaska.

Opponents of the federal ban argued that the nation needed to move closer to energy independence and insisted the gas and oil could be taken without threatening the environment and coastal beaches. They said a state choosing to keep the moratorium could do so.

The measure was approved 232-187.

The ‘opponents’ (aka: Democrats and their Green Weenie Bretheren) haven’t a clue as to the meaning of the word “Independence”, otherwise they would know that if supply our own oil, buying none from any other country, we become only “Dependent” upon ourselves.

Their idea of “Independent” talks some gobbly-gook about non-fossil fuels and how cars should run on sunshine and fairy dust.

I might go along with that if they’d include cute little baby mice, but I’m sure that we’d then get into arguing about how to refine them; I say boiling, but I’m sure they’d rather just squeeze it out (that is far too slow for my tastes).

Anyway, call your Senators and ask them if they know what the House did last week and why it is taking so long for them to get around to copying them!

Posted in Kewel! | 1 Comment

A Good Short 4th of July Essay

…was posted by Josh over at SouthParkPundit. Enjoy.

Posted in Kewel! | Leave a comment