Random Nuclear Strikes

Got a toothache? Well, if you’re in the UK, you might just want to wander on down to the hardwares store and buy a shiny new set of pliers.

It’ll be cheaper and definitely faster than waiting for the NHS.

Some English people have resorted to pulling out their own teeth because they cannot find — or cannot afford — a dentist, a major study has revealed.

Six percent of those questioned in a survey of 5,000 patients admitted they had resorted to self-treatment using pliers and glue, the UK’s Press Association reported.

England has a two-tier dental care system with some dentists offering publicly subsidized treatment through the National Health Service and others performing more expensive private work.

But more than three-quarters of those polled said they had been forced to pay for private treatment because they had been unable to find an NHS dentist. Almost a fifth said they had refused dental treatment because of the cost.

One respondent in Lancashire, northern England, claimed to have extracted 14 of their own teeth with a pair of pliers. In Liverpool, one of those collecting data for the survey interviewed three people who had pulled out their own teeth in one morning.

But if you want the perfect accessory to your life, by which I mean screening your embryos to make sure that your child has the exact characteristics you like, well then, they’ll have an appointment open next week, love.

And if you want a physically disabled child, that isn’t a problem. You see, the right people have been complaining of discrimination

Deaf couples could be allowed to use embryo-screening technology and choose to have a deaf child, after a climb-down by the Government in the face of campaigning.

Under the proposed Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill, using embryo-screening deliberately to create a child with a serious medical condition – which officials had said includes being deaf – would be illegal.

Now, however, the Department of Health has agreed to cut from the Bill any reference to deafness as a serious medical condition.

The move could pave the way for the Bill to be amended, when it passes through the Commons later this year, permitting a challenge over whether deafness should be classed as a serious medical condition for the purposes of the bill and allowing parents to pick an embryo, using IVF treatment, that will develop into a deaf child.

Not being able to hear a bus lumbering in your general direction is NOT a serious medical condition?

Let me get this straight: A physical condition that requires electronic modification of your body in order to correct it, otherwise a Led Zepplin concert would sound the same as a walk in the park, is NOT considered serious?

Not being able to communicate with your fellow human being unless you learn to read lips or they learn a new fucking gesture language ISN’T serious?

I worked with a guy who was “Hearing Impared and Proud” in my wayback years. The guy thought deaf people who got implants were “sell outs”. Yeah, “sell outs” who could finish a Master’s Degree and work in an environment where the non-deaf didn’t have to conform to someone else’s impairment.

That is why the call it “Hearing Impaired”. Because it is an undesirable condition.

I’m only unhappy about this development because in 10 years, it is going to make its way over here and I’m gonna be made to pay for it out my paycheck.

Boston Globe Editorial Staff: Please, turn in your PC/Mac and all electronic writing programs. You have lost your privileges to write editorials.

Cause for cessation of privileges: You’re too fucking stoopid for your own good and dangerous to the public.

FOR MANY people with simple finances, filing a federal tax return is an unnecessary chore. Employers report workers’ income to the Internal Revenue Service. And perhaps 9 million taxpayers claim no dependents or major credits, opt not to itemize deductions, and have little or no interest or capital gains income. So why make them fill out paperwork, which still has to be checked against the government’s own figures?

Senator Barack Obama would eliminate millions of hours of such forced labor. The IRS would use its records to generate a so-called simple return for qualifying taxpayers. A filer who disagreed with the agency’s numbers could fill out a standard return. Otherwise, a taxpayer would sign it and send in a check or wait for a refund. This automatic tax return proposal is a winner, no matter who is elected in November.

Boston Globe Editorial Staff, you earned this