Hello, my name is Dr. Goodwin Brest, Professor Emeritus of Bosomology. I was formerly the Chancellor of the Occidental Tush Institue and Professor John Thomas Booty’s supervisor, but over the summer I transfered into the position of Headmaster at the Cleavage Discovery School.
Professor Booty wrote me last weekend to tell me that this year’s freshman class is one of the best he has seen and that he is waist deep in getting them positioned to outstrip their upper-classwomen. This has, however, put him out of sorts for helping out Phil and David here, and he asked that IÂ cover for him for a couple weeks until things settle down.
Now, I understand that this position has been filled over the past couple weeks by an acquaintance of mine, the Honorable Judge Juggs. His Honor and I have met on a couple of occasions, usually under the pretense of my giving testimony on the subject of mammaral development. I am happy to take over where he left off. Â
My new position at CDS has given me the opportunity to work at the leading Cleavage Development Research center in the entire world and to work with a number of the best Bosomologists in the field.
People like Professor Cassandra Winsom
Professor Winsome specializes in turning A’s to B’s using a breakthrough method she discovered. I know that my previous sentence sounds as if we’re working backwards, but I wasn’t talking about the student’s grades.
CDS also has a wonderful fitness program lead by our Professor Yumi Tanaka.
She may not look it, but Professor Tanaka is almost 50 years old. Her upper-body firming routine is a widely sought secret in the industry. She has been smart enough to include a number of placebo exercises and for over 25 years now, no one has been able to discover the magical combination of techniques. Myself, I believe that a goodly part of it is the power of positive mental reinforcement through meditation.
I’ll be back tomorrow with some of my own handiwork to put on display. Until then, have a good day.