Friday Election Funnies

Posted on March 14, 2008 by Phil Kadath

Recent Pew polls show that if HRC gets the DNC nod 10% of Dems who support Obama will defect and vote for McCain.

But that’s not the funny part.

Teh Funny is that if Obama gets to choose the ticket, 25% of Dems will run away screaming and pull the handle for McCain.

The DNC is currently reconfiguring the Kool-Aid to try and fix this issue.

Meanwhile, John Aravosis is asking if “25% of HRC supporters are racists?” And the identity politics that are tearing at the Democrats goes on. Because no one can disagree with BHO without being one.
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In other news, Nancy Pelosi had previously stated that the Dem “Dream Ticket” of HRC/BHO or BHO/HRC will not be happening.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of California, who hasn’t endorsed either candidate, said a unity ticket was impossible.

She said the Clinton campaign “has fairly ruled that out by proclaiming that Senator McCain would be a better commander in chief than Obama.”

This made the leftosphere collectively shuffle through the clutter of their basement desks for the valium bottle.

And much to their chagrin, and the levels of their valium bottles, she said it again.

“I do think we will have a dream team,” Pelosi said. “It just won’t be those two.”

Asked why by the chorus of reporters, the speaker chose not to expand on her prediction, saying only that she had a gut feeling as a result of her lifetime in politics.

“Take it from me, that won’t be the ticket,” Pelosi said with a smile, provoking laughter from members of the media who were prodding her.

I’m simply speculating here, and certainly I don’t mean to frighten you all, but do you think that possibly HRC has trolled Madame Speaker with the Veep slot to create an all estrogen ticket?

Having the Speaker of the House by your side at the convention would be equivalent to a bronze bullet, if not a silver one.

But, again, that could just be my hope for chaos in Denver coming to the top once more.

Posted in Useful Idiots | 3 Comments

From Coast to Coast

Posted on March 14, 2008 by Phil Kadath

And all points in between…

Committing voter fraud seems to be the only thing ACORN knows how to do.

“We’re very committed to helping low- to moderate-income people across the state get registered to vote. And we’re here to work closely with the board of elections to make sure that everyone we’re helping to apply gets on the rolls.”

The city officials say many of the addresses listed on the registrations are invalid, but Acorn blames the post office for not adequately servicing low-income communities.

Umm, dude, I hate to have to break it to you, but that guy who sleeps in the alley does not get an official street number for his refrigerator box. You cannot sign him up at that location or make up his name for him, even if he doesn’t remember it.

Michelle Malkin has a list of crimes committed by ACORN here.

Posted in Too Stupid to Live | 1 Comment

The Soundboard: Rough Trade Edition

Posted on March 13, 2008 by Phil Kadath

So the Guv’ner of New York was paying for some Jersey pooter. I guess the value of the dollar has dropped if Jersey girls are charging over $1000 an hour.

But big whup. I’m more interested in his laundering of cash and an hopeful I’ll be able to watch a blind man sign the state’s budget. Personally, I’d think you’d have to be blind so as not to cry during the process.

But either way, these are for the soon to be “Mister Spitzer”. Because there is no one who can bring the “queenie-snark” like Morrissey.

Alsatian Cousin – Morrissey

And below the fold I’ll let you all in on the secret as to why his wife would stand by him during his last couple press conferences.

Continue reading →

Posted in Kewel! | Leave a comment

Can’t Say I Disagree

Posted on March 13, 2008 by Phil Kadath

Which will be a first for Krugman and I.

One measure of how crazy people on at least one side of the Democratic nomination struggle have become: I’ve gotten a number of complaints that the end of my last — entirely non-political — column, “hope is not a plan,” was a swipe at Obama.Um, guys, it’s a phrase military types use; I started using it a lot when Iraq went pear-shaped. In fact, if you Google it, the first entry that comes up is a book about the Iraq war.

I’m sorry to say that a large part of the progressive movement seems to have lost its sanity.

While warming up the vehicle to go to work, before I pop in a CD or thumb drive into the stereo head unit, I listen to see just how high the Seattle Air America affiliate is pushing the crazy-meter that evening.

As of late, I’ve been rewarded with the anti-Semite, Mike Malloy, confessing to his Troofer beliefs, which may explain why he’s been bumped back to a 2100 start.

In substitution at 2000 I’m getting Randi Rhodes (aka: She who gets falling down drunk, falls down and breaks her teeth out and then gets hailed as a victim of right wing haters).

After this last dust up started by Geraldine Ferraro, Rhodes has given up façade that she’ll support either Democrat candidate and is 100% behind the Obammessiah at this point. Michael Savage couldn’t be tougher on HRC than Rhodes is. She’s in full-on hate mode.

The other night she was making a comparison between Obama and Lincoln, talking about how experience doesn’t matter and paralleling their legislative careers with about 90% accuracy. I made one comparison to myself, and didn’t expect Rhodes to even think of it was:

Lincoln fought a war that helped end slavery.

Obama will make us fight a war to keep ourselves from becoming slaves.

Posted in Too Stupid to Live | Leave a comment

Turn the Driving Ranges into Rifle Ranges

Posted on March 13, 2008 by Phil Kadath

Hitting a little ball with a crooked stick. Walking after it.

And then hitting it again.

That is how golf is described by comedian by George Carlin. I call it just a plain stupid waste of time. If you’re looking for something to satisfy your need to find your Scottish ancestry, take up Single Malt Whiskey: It costs less, causes no stress to you and in an hour to hour comparison, makes for a much better time.

So I believe it is now time for the corporate boardroom to give up golf as their “powermeeting” sport of choice and switch to Skeet.

Hunting, Shooting Gear Tops Golf in Sales

Hunting- and shooting-related equipment has out-driven golf in sales, according to data released by the National Sporting Goods Association.

New statistics show that hunting gear and firearm sales topped $3.7 billion in 2006, up 4.1 percent from the previous year. Only exercise equipment performed better, with sales of $5.22 billion, according to NSGA’s most recent “Sporting Goods Market” report. Golf equipment, which claimed the No. 2 spot the previous year, fell into the third spot with $3.66 billion in sales.

“These statistics not only further demonstrate the willingness of America’s 40 million hunters and shooters to spend big bucks to enjoy their lifestyles, but also show our industry’s success in continuing to develop new products to meet their needs,” said Doug Painter, president of the firearm industry’s trade association, the National Shooting Sports Foundation.

So a guy can bend over and whack a ball father and straighter than I can. Like I give a rat’s asshole.

Can he bust clays?

Move over Tiger Woods. Make way for Vincent Hancock.

Found @ Uncle’s

Posted in Kewel! | 3 Comments

Stupid Blogger Tricks

Posted on March 13, 2008 by Phil Kadath

According to a video at this link, a child found a pistol and had not been properly instructed that guns aren’t toys and shot himself.

Oliver Willis (Occupation: Toole) put it in his link dump post yesterday with the following editorialization

Please, more guns in houses. We sure want more of these.

His usual band of sycophants stops by and follows his lead.

Then, non-sycophant, JWC stops by with something unrecognizable by Willis or his commentors: “Facts”.

That is when the real bigotry begins.

Willis sycophant “C.S. Strowbridge”

Shut up. Just shut up. You have proven you are a fucking retard and now you are just hurting the world by continuing to talk.

This is what qualifies as “Reasoned Discourse” at Ollie’s on a daily basis, which is why I stop by there for my comic relief.

This is alternatively known as the “Stop with the facts! I have preconceived notions I need to cower behind, dammit!” argument.

Posted in Freaks, Mutants, and Morons | Leave a comment

Mythbusting

Posted on March 13, 2008 by Phil Kadath

Two “birds” with one “stone”, so to speak. Here is the link you’ll need.

Myth #1: Global Warming is going to cook us all

Recent Canadian winters have been mild but this one looks set to break all-time records for snow. One storm last weekend dumped 23 inches (51 cm) on the capital Ottawa and 19 inches on Quebec City, which has already received 210 inches this year.

I do like how they excuse the lower amounts of snow in previous years by calling them “mild”, but “average” would be more accurate.

Myth #2: Canadians are a peaceful people who have nothing but love and peace for their fellow subjects

Although Canada is one of the snowiest countries in the world, a series of violent “snow rage” incidents reveal that even the locals have their limits.

Police in the French-speaking province of Quebec said on Wednesday that people were fighting over snow clearing and even parking spaces.

Quebec City police said they had been called to a dozen violent disputes about snow from one property ending up on someone else’s. The drifts outside some houses are 12 feet and higher.

Granted, 12ft of snow will piss just about anyone off, but swinging shovels and even brandishing firearms over piles of crystallized water aren’t exactly the kind of thing Canucks are known for.

But then, I’ve seen too many hockey games to have ever believed the myth.

Posted in Life in the Atomic Age | 1 Comment

Oh, How Cute

Posted on March 12, 2008 by Phil Kadath

The anti-war types are moving up in the world.

From arson to kidnapping.

On Wednesday, March 19, POG will be holding a torch-lit march to a modern day castle of abominations—our local military recruiting station. If the station remains open, we intend to evict it and everything inside of it, occupy the location, and transform it into something useful for the community. We’ll also be bringing a movable cage in which to confine military recruiters until they no longer pose a danger to our friends and neighbors.

They’re already calling the recruiters cowards, explaining that the staff will either just close the station that day or call the police to protect them.

Never mind that these protesters have already expressed their willing ness to commit serious felonies against the persons of any personnel who remain inside the office.

I do wonder if the people who are planning this would mind being booted out of the organization’s offices or their homes and paraded around in a cage against their will on a military base for a day or so?

The first person I will be asking this of will be “PeteinDC” who stopped by my Monday post on the upcoming protests to remind me “Dissent is the highest form of patriotism”.

Also, you can go here and see what happens when these wacko-loons attempted to deliver a Stop-Loss Order to Senator Jim Webb of Virginia. Its rather boring, but mildly comical at times.

If you want actual comedy, you can click on this video of Marine, and current Daily Show “correspondent”, Rob Riggle, mocking Code Pink in front of the Berkeley USMC Recruitment Station

Posted in Too Stupid to Live | 2 Comments

My Apologies, Your Eminence

Posted on March 12, 2008 by Phil Kadath

But those you seek already belong to the Church of Gaia.

Back before Lent, I saw this story about a pair of Anglican Bishops trying to get their followers to go on a “carbon fast” for the duration of the holiday.

Two senior Church of England Bishops have called on people to give up carbon rather than chocolate for Lent.

The Bishop of Liverpool, the Rt Rev James Jones and the Bishop of London, the Rt Rev Richard Chartres, will make the call before the 40 days of Lent begins on Wednesday February 6.

Lent is the time when Christians traditionally give up such things as sweets, chocolate or alcohol in recognition of the 40 days Christ spent fasting in the desert to prepare for his ministry.

This year they will be asked to think about their own carbon footprint and follow a few simple steps designed to help cut CO2 emissions.

Bishop James, who pioneered the Carbon Fast in Liverpool last year, is also Vice President of the development agency, Tearfund, which found in a survey to accompany the scheme that three out of five people questioned would be willing to take energy-saving action this Lent.

Then yesterday I read about The Vatican chumming for Gaiahadists and Marxists by extending their list of mortal sins to include polluting being excessively wealthy.

Bishop Girotti, 70, said: “The reference for sin is the violation of man’s relationship with God and his fellow man.

“You offend God not only by stealing, blaspheming or coveting your neighbour’s wife, but also by ruining the environment, carrying out morally debatable experiments or allowing genetic manipulations which alter DNA or compromise embryos,” he said.

“Socially there is the field of drugs which weaken both intelligence and physically, leaving many youngsters outside the ecclesiastical circuit.

“Then elsewhere socially we have inequality of wealth with the poor getting poorer and the rich getting richer, this in turns feeds an ever growing social injustice.”

I see the Vatican giving out money to children and their families in newspaper stories, but that is restitution for what their priests did, not charity.

Take a look at the picture on the above link. That isn’t gold paint on Bennie’s chair or chrome on his staff.

Do they really think that they will win any converts out of the Death Cult with this crap, or is it just that their travel agents can’t find anyone wanting to fly on the old guilt trips anymore?

Posted in Rampant Eco Socialism, The Global Warming Death Cult | 2 Comments

And I though we had it bad over here

Posted on March 12, 2008 by Phil Kadath

Alex Singleton, writer, Samizdat, and all around spiffing bloke, posted up a piece at the Guardian Blog on just what a crappy idea it is for the UK to slap an new, and extra, “Showroom Tax” on vehicles that don’t fit into the “Green” classification.

Alistair Darling is planning to announce a “showroom tax” on prestige cars, from Jaguars to Range Rovers, in his budget on Wednesday. It’s a really bad idea. Yes, it will appeal to unthinking environmentalists, even though its environmental benefits will be minimal and possibly counterproductive. It will also appeal to foaming-at-the-mouth Labour backbenchers, keen for a return to the politics of envy after years of Blairism. But envy makes poor policy.Like many people, I think driving a Chelsea tractor about in the city with no passengers looks silly. Aesthetically, most 4x4s just don’t do it for me. Yet for many families, 4x4s are a godsend. If you have four children, a family trip in an ordinary saloon does not work. Similarly, people living in remote parts of the countryside often need such vehicles because they need something big to cope with the terrain. For all the government’s talk about helping the countryside, those living in the back end of beyond will now be punished when they buy a Range Rover.

And because of that opinion, the Guardianistas set upon Singleton with numbers and a fervor that American green-weenies could only hope for.

Beside the usual “Why do you hate the Planet” and “Stupid Neo-Con Denier” BS, the UK eco-socos set upon anyone who owns a non-green vehicle ignorant. The annoying part is that they actually think they are being helpful in the process.

Someone actually suggests that the farmer who needs a Rover to manage his property buy something called a Fiat Panda 4×4. Hit that link and tell me what the landowner who is trying to manage medium to large animals and miles of fencing is going to be able to do with that. Oh, and maybe they’ve improved since I’ve seen my last one (1996 or so), but in the US, Fiat has always been understood to mean “Fix It Again, Tony”.

Another commenter suggests that anyone dumb enough to have more than two children is all the more stupid if they can’t figure out to just “rent a big car for the few occasions when you need the seats.”

What? The average car the UK government is not planning on taxing is equivalent to a Ford Focus. I don’t that I have three people I dislike enough to try and stuff into one with myself.

Also, while I guess that could be considered a better plan for family size/population management than forced abortions, its not much better.

US Global Warming Death Cultists don’t seem to wail and moan too much if you can fill an Explorer/Durango with kids. I never knew they were being so reasonable.

Posted in The Global Warming Death Cult | Leave a comment