In Memorium: The Booty Eulogies

There is only one thing I loved more than gaining my freedom from the Soviets, and that was John Thomas Booty.

When he would come to Prauge to visit me, he always knew the perfect gift to bring, even when it was just himself. Even on this side of the old Iron Curtain, John Thomas was renown. Local bosses in the Czech mob would offer his free admission and drinks to their clubs, as well as protection while he was in the country.

I always liked this picture that he took of me.

E10.jpg

It was a representation of our love as a bridge between two worlds.

Na Shledanou, John Thomas.

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Can’t stay and chat

I’m gone.

Here.

If’n you’re local, be there or be square.

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Find A New Career for Joe

Now that his PNNL lawsuit’s over, Joe Huffman’s musing about other things:

I keep wondering if there is a way to combine all my hobbies in an interesting way. But at least for me guns, explosives, and sex just don’t mix.

To me, the answer’s obvious. Joe needs to produce porn movies in which the performers alternate between shooting-range activities (including Boomershoot-style explosive targets) and hot sexual intercourse.

I mean come on, who hasn’t had that fantasy where you’re alone at the range and happen to notice a comely female start shooting a few benches away? Then you notice that she’s not only gorgeous, she’s competent with her firearm and maybe even outshoots you. One thing leads to another, and it’s off with the clothes and into the positions. Then, after some exquisite orgasms, you set out some more targets and — still nude — the pair of you start a friendly shooting competition. Maybe the loser has to try to bring the winner to orgasm through oral sex at the same time the winner is valiantly trying to concentrate on shooting a string of pool cues at 100 yards. Or little boomers. You get the idea. Then maybe our heroes are joined by two other couples with different types of guns — maybe a .50 BMG and a muzzleloader? Different scenes ensue with each. Etc., etc.
Of course, all the performers would exhibit impeccable gun handling, and what little dialogue there’d be would consist of intelligent and witty discourse on firearms safety, the joys of shooting, and of course, the usual sex talk.

The possibilities are endless. A lesbian video would sell like hotcakes. There’d probably be a big market for gay porn versions as well.

Nobody’s doing this yet to my knowledge. I guarantee you (assuming Joe got decently attractive performers) that with the low cost of digital cameras, a series of amateur videos like this would make lots and lots of money.

I’d buy ’em. Would you?

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RNS Quote of the Day: 08/03/07

Stepping away from the “Trash Fun Facts” for the week. But don’t worry, they’ll be back on Monday for Parts #4-8.

Today we’re going to get current with some recent national news.

On Tuesday, the news came out that being an employer became more expensive in the 2nd business quarter of 2007. In fact, Yahoo posted the AP story with nearly that exact wording.

“Employment costs rise in second quarter” was the headline.

James Taranto, however, saw through the facade than I’m sure made a large number of people who read that headline think that employment costs going up was bad for the economy.

His retort is our Quote of the Day

If Clinton were President, they’d be called “Wages”

It’s funny cause its true.

Yes, Virginia. That liberal media.

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Owl tastes like chicken

That is a quote of a bumber sticker you could see quite often around the Pacific NW in the early 1990’s after the eco-socialists locked up nearly 7 million acres of timberland by getting the fed to declare the Spotted Owl endangered. On top of that, they stated as fact that Spotted Owls would only nest in “Old Growth Timber” and that all cutting on all lands inside the circle the eco-socialists drew had to stop. The fed at the time agreed, as did a couple of judges and all the local media (even those who print their words on dead trees) that weren’t based in longging towns.

The eco-socialists would bus their “friends” in from cities like Portland, Eugene, Seattle, Tacoma and Olympia and show up at these hearings, completely overwhelming the voices of the locals whose entire lives depended on logging and in whose self interest it was to keep the local forests a “renewable resource”.

But never the less, the fed and the courts found for the eco-socialists and tens of thousands of families were put out of work, and some on to the street, because of an owl small enough to hold in the palm of your hand was more important than they were.

A decade and a half later, the fed has now come back and said that they are going to open up some of these lands to commercial logging, for two reasons: 1. The population of spotted owls there is miniscule to the point of non-existence, and 2. Stopping the logging in these areas hasn’t helped the owls.

Of course, the eco-socialists are going apeshit.

They insist that it is all a Bush conspiracy to open up every last inch of federal lands to corporations. They call bullshit the multiple studies which the Department of Fish and Wildlife have conducted over the last decade which show that a new owl, the Barred Owl, has migrated eastward across Canada and is the main culprit for the continued shrinking of the Spotted Owl population. Seven percent a year is what the Spotted Owl population is shrinking by without even hearing a human, let alone a fucking chainsaw.

All the fed is doing is opening up 1.6 million acrres, leaving the Spotted Owl 5.3 millon acres to do whatever Spotted Owls do, but to the eco-socialists, it is all a conspiracy to kill the owl, the trees, the water, and basically rape Mother Gaia.

They have gotten themselves a new idiot judge to stop Weyerhaeuser from logging on 56,000 acres of its own land because the eco-socialists no long think the rules protecting the owls are “doing enough”.

They want to move the goal posts so far back that the timber companies cannot even hope to reach them to save a fucking owl.

The Seattle Audubon Society and some group of assholes calling themselves The Washington Forest Law Center filed their lawsuit to teach the state a lesson that it cannot go issuing permits without asking them if it is OK, or some such nonsense.

But, said Peter Goldman, director of the law center, “this opinion issues a very stern warning to the state. The state should not draw comfort from this.”

Screw Mr. Goldman and his eco-socialist friends.

I have little doubt that if the final ruling does not go their way that they will magically find either some other exotic creature of no significance to stop the logging, or even plant faked evidence, like other eco-socialists have done in the past, in order to lock off forest land from humans.

Posted in Rampant Eco Socialism | 5 Comments

What Oppressive Government Bureaucracy? Oh, that one

Here’s a bit o’ news related to this story Phil posted earlier.

Seems as though the fat-assed types inhabiting the ATFU’s offices in the Pacific Northwest are still up to their old tricks, and not just in the Red’s Trading Post case.

Hat tips to David Hardy and, of course, David Codrea.

Posted in Order of the imperial upraised middle finger. | 1 Comment

The Soundboard: More Just Because

The past couple weeks selections have gotten actual responses, and seems to be therapeutic for some.

So we’ll keep that ball rolling.

Metallica – Stone Cold Crazy

When Metallica covers Queen, you know it has to be good. In fact, it is one of the best reasons to buy this. Especially when it is that damn cheap.

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RNS Quote of the Day: 08/02/07

Day #4 and Myth #4 from PERC 

MYTH 4: WE MUST ACHIEVE TRASH INDEPENDENCE

Numerous commentators contend that each state should achieve “trash independence” by disposing within its borders all of its rubbish. But, as with all voluntary trade, interstate trade in trash raises our wealth as a nation, perhaps by as much as $4 billion. Most of the increased wealth accrues to the citizens of areas importing trash.

Not only is the potential threat posed by modern landfills negligible, but transporting rubbish across state lines has no effect on the environmental impact of its disposal. Moving a ton of trash by truck is no more hazardous than moving a ton of any other commodity.

Actually, most trash is run to the landfill via rail and not tractor/trailer. The vast majority of Washington’s trash goes to Oregon, though Canada and Idaho get their fair share. It is packed into a rail car via a stationary packing unit with enough pressure to liquify any mammal inside of it (mostly just the rats) and then gets tractored to a nearby rail yard where the “cans” are double stacked onto a rail car. The reverse then happens at the other end.

When the “can” finally reaches the landfill, the entire rig, trailer, tractor and all, is backed onto a hydraulic lift. the driver gets out and the truck is lifted into the air to an approximate 60 degree angle until the trash has all fallen out the back of the trailer. The transport has loosened the trash enough at that point that it all falls out. Anything stuck inside is augered and the lift happens again.

I know a couple folks who would probably pay a small sum to be allowed in the tractor when it goes up. I also know that OHSA is onsite in case someone tries it.

Trash is big business because it is basically wholesale in reverse. The home owner or business who is throwing the trash out pays somewhere upwards of $200 a ton to do so (prices get smaller by quantity of tonnage). The collector then has to pay the transfer station per ton and still make enough to cover truck and driver time.

The transfer station has to make enough to cover then having to pay employees and maintain a fleet to take it to the rail yard, and then the rail company to ship it to the landfill, and then the tonnage of the trash to the landfill to take it.

If we were truly running out of landfill space, as was debunked on Monday, the producers of trash, you me and everyone else, would be paying five times what is currently being charge because the supply of space would be running out.

But we’re not because it isn’t. The free market, ladies and gents.

All y’all local to me will be seeing increased trash rates in the next couple years because the city governments, having kept Mother Gaia close to their itty-bitty commie soaked hearts, are mandating that all the trucks that collect the trash, recycle, yardwaste, food waste, etc, must meet 2006 emmissions standards. No pre-2006 trucks will be allowed on the streets after Jan 2009 in an number of cities and other smaller burgs in Western Washington.

I get to take my trash to work. For free. Neener (that is why I bought a truck instead of a Geo Metro to commute in).

Posted in Quote of the Day | 5 Comments

From China, Without Love

Chinese couples are restricted by law from having more than one child. This has led to an overabundance of Chinese males since daughters are not desired and are usually killed at birth so that the couple can try again.

Western eco-dweebies are quite fond of this idea of restricting birth rates, especially in those countries where those dark colored skinned folks live. So much so that they’ve created a group to lobby the UN to try and get them to pass birthrate restrictions in third world countries.

A British advocacy group is warning that compulsory restrictions on family sizes may become “unavoidable” if the Earth is to be saved from disaster.

The Optimum Population Trust, a group that advocates curbing global population growth because of humans’ impact on the environment, says that over the next 50 years, the planet will have to deal with the largest generation of adolescents and teenagers in history.

Many of these, the organization says, will be unemployed young men who, in their frustration over their situation, may resort to violence. This will add to the already overwhelming burden developing countries are facing as a result of population growth.

In a report released this month, OPT Co-Chairman John Guillebaud said that the United Nations projection of a world population of 9.2 billion in 2050 — up from 6.7 billion today — was a “highly optimistic” estimate and that the actual number may be “many more.”

The population of the 50 poorest countries in the developing world will double in size, a shift that will wipe out gains in agriculture, education and health care faster than they can be made, said Guillebaud, who is a retired professor of family planning and reproductive health at University College in London.

By 2050, OPT projects that the world’s population will be using the biological capacity of two Earths. It says this will lead to a massive population crash through a combination of violence, disease and starvation.

To prevent this, the report advocates a mix of government policies to prevent women worldwide from having more than an average of two children.

And I’m sure that they feel they’re being generous with that.

Posted in Rampant Eco Socialism | 3 Comments

Letting the inmates run the asylum

Or more closely, letting the Truthers have the run of the newspaper.

On july 26th, the Seattle Times ran a guest editorial from Alex Alben, who poured water on just about all of the Truther Conspiracy theories.

The Times, in their never ending lack of wisdom, decided to dedicate yesterdays “Letters to the Editor” section to the Truthers.

I’m sure that the next time there is a crime involving a firearm, they’ll let the law abiding gun owners in the are have the section to themselves to rebut the multiple gun-bigot editorials the Times will run.

Yes, Virginia. That liberal media.

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