The Soundboard: Political Songs

OK, this song is only political in my twisted little reality, but I thought you might get a kick out of it anyway.

Seeing as how I got a positive response from the tunage I posted on Monday, I decided to pop up more Weird Al tunage today.

I picked this one because, even though they won their place in Congress (at least I haven’t heard of any of them crying about how they stole the election), they are still incorrect in their thinking on the issues.

Defense, socialized medicine, how economies work, gun control, Social Security, and I could go on for an hour writing out all the things the left is wrong about.

So I figured this song fits this train of thought of mine quite nicely

Everything You Know Is Wrong – Weird Al Yankovic

And for those who didn’t stop by for Monday (tsk, tsk) the track from then will be available until tomorrow.

This song came from this album and the lyrics can be found below for those who are slow of hearing.

I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane
With a rabid wolverine in my underwear
When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat
Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes

I guessed, “Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?”
“Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?”
“Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?”
I probably would have kept on guessing
But about that time we crashed into the truck

And as I’m laying bleeding there on the asphalt
Finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer
Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me

Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn’t matter

Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong

I was walkin’ to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams
When I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension
And soon I was abducted by some aliens from space
Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr

They sucked out my internal organs
And they took some Polaroids
And said I was a darn good sport
And as a way of saying thank you
They offered to transport me back to
Any point in history that I would care to go

And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night
So I could pay my phone bill on time
Just then the floating disembodied head of
Colonel Sanders started yelling

Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn’t matter

Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong

I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin
When I got a nasty papercut
And, well, to make a long story short
It got infected and I died

So now I’m up in heaven with St. Peter
By the pearly gates
And it’s obvious he doesn’t like
The Nehru jacket that I’m wearing
He tells me that they’ve got a dress code

Well, he lets me into heaven anyway
But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine
For all eternity
And every day he runs by screaming

Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you used to think was so important
Doesn’t really matter anymore
Because the simple fact remains that

Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
Everything you know is wrong