Well, the Professor is away on what I presume will be a relaxing time away from his regular duties.
In the meantime, Judge Juggs thought the RNS readership might enjoy peeking behind the closed doors of Judge’s Chambers, so to speak.
I have a small docket of three cases, all of which have a particular legal issue in common. And this time, I’ll let YOU be the judge!
Ready, counselors? Very well, let’s begin. The question presented in each case is, simply put, the “age-old” one — although it has only become widely contested since about the middle of the past century (see: Carol Doda vs. City of San Francisco, B. 44D-24.5-35 (1966).
You be the Judge: Real or Fake?
In case 1, Petitioner Jane Doe requests a judicial determination that hers are Real.
 
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What say ye? Real or Fake?
In case 2, against allegations that they are Fake, Defendant Jane Doe 2Â denies and offers as her affirmative defense: Real!
 
 
What say ye?
And in case 3, Appellant Jane Doe 3 appeals from a lower court’s ruling that they are Fake. Appellant demands retrial on grounds that the Judge unfairly excluded from trial evidence that Appellant’s supine position contributes to an illusion of Falsity. She claims that in fact they are gloriously, exquisitely Real.
 
What say ye?
Fake? Real? Doesnt matter. They’re all good.
Fake, fake, photoshopped.
But, I’ll drive a car with plastic fenders and I LOVE to shoot pistols with plastic receivers, so I’m not partial to fake.
The Old Captain says, “North, South, East or West, it make no difference which way the compass points, a piece of ass is a piece of ass.”
Ah, yes. In the immortal words of the famed Bard of CBS News, “Fake, but Accurate.”
Case 1 = fake
Case 2 = real
Case 3 = undetermined; would the defendant please approach the bench so one can really get their hands on the case and make a ruling.
In the words of Butters (from South Park) “Ew, they’re hard and oogy.” That’s all I’ll say about fake breasts.
DFWMTX, you just send all those fake ones over here. I know how to handle ’em.