I am assuming that most of the RNS readership are entering or are firmly ensconced in ‘middle-age land’ and have never heard of the Insane Clown Posse, so let me just explain that they were a mediocre rap group from the late 90’s/early 00’s who wore clown make-up.
Yes, you read that right, gangsta clowns. Here is their website. Try not to laugh too hard.
Well, somehow, they’ve ‘inspired’ a sort of crime spree near my newfound home with a group calling themselves “The Juggalos”
For several nights last month, a group of thugs with black hooded sweat shirts pulled tight over their heads, including at least one in “angry” clown makeup, terrorized visitors to Pierce County’s Fort Steilacoom Park, police say.
The group cried “woo, woo, Juggalo” as they assaulted park visitors with a machete and fists. They stole cellphones, cash and wallets and even threatened to cut their victims’ heads off, according to court documents.
So far, two men and a woman have been charged with robbery and assault for their alleged roles in the string of attacks, said Pierce County deputy prosecutor Phil Sorensen. Prosecutors say the suspects claim to be “Juggalos,” a subculture that has developed among the fan base of the rap/metal group Insane Clown Posse.
“The violence was gratuitous,” said Lakewood police Lt. Dave Guttu. “They [victims] had already given up their stuff and were assaulted anyway.”
These assaults took place while RNS was down, and until I saw this article I had forgotten to post anything about this.
So imagine that you’re walking through the park and a group of jackasses steps out from behind a bush wearing clown make-up. This is Washington and we’re a shall-issue state, so you’ve got your firearm of choice.
Unfortunately for the “Juggalos” survival, I have always assumed that anyone who surprises me while they’re wearing clown make-up wants to be hurt, so these guys wouldn’t even get a chance to scream their name before I dropped the hammer on the one I considered the most serious threat.
BTW, while they’ve got a couple of these “Juggalos” in custody, as well as some female members calling themselves “Juggalettes”, I’ve got word from friends in the local constabulatory community that the attacks have slowed, but not stopped.
Maybe a walk in the park on weekends would be a nice little exercise regiment? Especially if I’m hauling around a weighted belt? Of course, I normally don’t wake up until it is close to dark, so maybe a twilight stroll?
God, I hate clowns.
be cautious not to post anything that would make a lawyer think you went looking for trouble.
There hasn’t been a good clown since Emmitt Kelley, that’s how far back I go with clowns.
Shades of Clockwork Orange… Orange-haired clowns?
I am assuming that most of the RNS readership are entering or are firmly ensconced in ‘middle-age land’ and have never heard of the Insane Clown Posse,
Not necessarily a safe assumption. We who are firmly ensconced have quite likely had children who not only knew ICP, but actually liked their product. Luckily the children in my case have started growing up. 🙂
I’m only 26, well aware of ICP.
If I remember correctly from Stephen King’s guide to fighting evil clowns, you have to take them out with something silver.
Clowns. They smack of MIME.
This is straight out of The Warriors, but a little less scary. I think a visit from a group of baseball players walking home from evening practice might be good for them. Can you dig it?