So the Analog Wife comes back from the store yesterday and wanders on into “The Men’s Room” with something in her hand and a curious look on her face.
I’m nearing the end of reassembling a 1911, which was the last gun of the evening to be cleaned (I was already done with the Ruger MKII-10 and the CZ-83). The Men’s Room smells sweetly of Hoppee’s #9 and the cleaning bench is covered in used patches and bore brushes.
I heard her behind me and after I inserted the Sear Pin, I turned to say hello and see if there was something I could help her with (because I am a good husband).
She says that she is looking for an open electrical socket. I ask why and she reveals the object in her hand: a ‘Glade Plug-In’ air freshener.
As I recoil in shock, like a vampire to a cross, I very politely ask her to leave the room and follow her out to the family room. She asks why I don’t want a “Spring Meadow” scented ‘Glade Plug-In’ and I tell her quite plainly that I have finally gotten the room to its odorous standard and that adding the ‘Glade Plug-In’ would do nothing but detract from the wonderfulness.
She said that it stunk like cleaning solvent in the room and that she didn’t think it was right for it to smell like that. I told that when we buy our house, there will be a room that will have a Hoppee’s #9 soaked rag hanging from the celing so that the smell never goes away, that the used patches she currently smelled were just a small sample of what a “Men’s Room” should smell like and that she’s lucky I don’t enjoy the scent of used carburators as much as I used to.
She decided that I was silly and turned away. Then she said that she’ll just put one in there when I go to work one of these days. So I replied “Charlie don’t surf. And my gun room doesn’t need a ‘Glade Plug-In’.”
Charlie don’t surf, indeed…
Are you going to surf, or are you going to fight?
Losing battle, mi amigo. Time for some “maskirovka”.
Tell her you would like to have one of the plug-in oil vaporizing air fresheners, but buy two, you might need a spare. Then say that you want to sample the fragrances. Buy the least penetrating one.
Fill one with the least penetrating one, and the other with Hoppes #9. Play a switch game, and when she begins to figure out that the scent isn’t covering up the Hoppes, just shrug and say it’s part of the culture.
Then offer to try another technical angle.
Buy a window fan and operate it for a few minutes when you finish your weapons maintenance. Remind her frequently how sincere you are about controlling the smell of the Hoppes, but you can never get it ALL out.
She will slowly get used to the smell, and then your beef is over. You will appeared to have tried hard, and that will satisfy her.
Maybe Glade and Hoppe’s should combine on one that smells like Hoppe’s.
……Mr. C.
I too like the smell of Hoppes… Its the Montana X-treme 50 B.M.G that will kill ya…
Liz won’t even come near the guy room when that bottle is uncorked…
K
My wife feels the same way about Barnes CR-10, Kurt.
I would too, but I need it for the barrel.