I can put him in the truck

But I’ll have to charge you by the pound

This report was found at TBIFOC:

A southeast Houston resident killed a suspected robber he said had been hiding in a trash can in his yard.

The resident told police he arrived home around 3 a.m. today and was opening the front door to his house in the 100 block of North Carolina when he heard a noise and turned around to see an unknown man pointing a gun at him.

The resident took out his own gun and shot the man multiple times, police said, then went to a neighbor’s home to call police. He reported seeing two other men flee.

The robbery suspect was pronounced dead at the scene.

Lawrence, is his usual style makes a funny:

Remember… dead burglars are not recyclable.

He is so right. Plus, the packer unit on the truck tends to act as a juicer on objects as water-based as a torso and makes a hell of a mess. Let’s just say that you can easily tell when all of the rats didn’t make it out of the dumpster in time.

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