Truer words were never spoken
Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
The Wife worked a whole bunch of overtime during the holidays to #1. Pad her end of year paychecks, and #2. Work the overtime she wanted to now so that she couldn’t be brought in for mandatory overtime she didn’t want want to work later.
Working that OT put her into the next shift and with “The Catty Girls”, as I like to call them. They essentially spend the entire shift blathering on about what sods their husbands are (and if even just half the stories are true, they really are sods).
She came home one day during this and said, essentially, that I’m just not enough of an asshole. I asked for clarification and she said that I don’t make enough trouble betwixt us for her to keep up with her co-workers list of complaints about their spouses.
I asked her what she was able to complain about and she mentioned that I spend a rather decent amount of cash on my firearms, ammunition and vehicles and that I eat my chili with a fork.
I offered to spend more of firearms and vehicles and to that when I’m out of clean socks and underwear I would be happy to bitch at her about it instead of just doing the laundry, if that would help her out any.
Her eyes glazed over for a second, during which I think she decided that the lack of complaints was a good thing.
Life is good.
My wife fled the barrios to make a life for herself and her daughter, and to escape all the drama and various kinds of abuse we see in the lives of the family members that remain. As a result, when she’s annoyed at something I’ve done, her long-running joke is to smile and say that at least I don’t beat her!
I’m still waiting to hear what the compromise about the chili was.
Maybe you should have offered to lick the bowls & plates! That usually drives them wild!
Merle
Ya know, I think we’re just a bunch of slackers!
My wife’s co-workers bitch about their “guys” as soon as they clock in. My wife just nods; I’m not that subtle. I told them that if they can’t tell the difference between a “guy” and a “man” then they get what they deserve.
No compromise with the chili, RD.
Chili is an ethic stew. Proper stew is to be eaten with a fork. Soup is thinned stew. I don’t eat soup.
FYI, chili is not properly filled out unless there are large slices of a cased meat within it. My current favorite is kielbasa. Served with a cold oaked Arragant Bastard Ale, of course.
During a lunch break while at a military training class, there was an impromptu “my wife/girlfriend is worse than yours” contest of sorts going on. I walked in just as it was getting started. IIRC, there were about 8 guys there doing the talking. At least half had been stabbed (let the scar viewing begin…) or baseball-batted by theirs at least once and one guy’s story was of him zig-zagging down the street as his wife was taking shots at him because she thought he was cheating on her. Which, according to him, he wasn’t even doing at the time making him an innocent victim.
As soon as I got back to the hotel the first thing I did was to call home and tell my wonderful wife just how much I love her.