The Soundboard: Special “Speaking of Taxes” Edition

Today is some kind of marked day important to the filing of taxes, or so I’m told.

And in honor of whatever day that is, I’m posting Death Metal

Dethharmonic – Dethklok

Yes, I know that I’ve previously stated that Dethklok tunage was too dangerous to post online for downloads. However, today is a special day filled with anxiety and hatred of the federal government across the nation.

So, with those factors already in the collective aura, the music’s potential damage quotient is cut by nearly a third. Also, since this particular track was preformed along with the London Philharmonic Orchestra, you can remove take another 10%.

But no more than 10% because the entire orchestra was killed in the process.

Lyrics and the tale behind the recording below the fold

Dethharmonic

Lyrics by Nathan Explosion

I want to keep my money
And give away absolutely nothing
To the government who moderates my spending
And obliterates depending on what time of the year
Brutality is here

In the form of income tax
I’d rather take a fucking axe
To my face, blow up this place

With you all in it

I’d do it in a minute

If I could write off your murder
I’d save all of my receipts
Because I’d rather you be dead
Than lose a tiny shred of what I made this fiscal year

I’d rather you be dead than ponder parting with my second home
I’d rather you be dead than consider not opening a restaurant

I’d rather you be dead
I’d rather you be dead

Prepare the laser-beam
I’m gonna use it tonight

Engage the laser-beam
It’s gonna end your life

I’m gonna use it tonight

If I could write off your murder
I’d save all of my receipts
Because I’d rather you be dead
Than lose a tiny shred of what I made this fiscal year

I’d rather you be dead than ponder parting with my second home
I’d rather you be dead than consider not opening a restaurant

As with everywhere else, tax time has come to Mordhaus, and the boys are looking to write off as much as they can.

Since Deathklok is reputed to be the world’s 12th largest economy, they need to do quite a bit in order to pay as little in taxes as possible. The band first gets the idea to adopt a kid, as this is usually a rather big write off, and they name him “Fat Kid” (though Swisgar prefers to call him “Fatty Dingdongs”).

Because the guys only feed Fat Kid junk food, his energy level is rather high and he gets into quite a bit of trouble around Mordhaus. Nathan, remembering that when his childhood dog was neutered it calmed the dog down, the band takes Fat Kid of the operation. It doesn’t help.

In a final bid to try and get the biggest write off possible, their agent books them to play with the London Philharmonic in a charity concert. The band demands that it have a killer laserlight show, and the agent agrees since the more the concert costs, the more they can write off.

And the 30ft laser ball is built and set behind the orchestra.

However, during the show, because the band is playing there is no one to watch Fat Kid. Being the rambunctious little bastard that he is, he sets the laser’s controls to kill mode, causing the deaths of every single ochestra member, as well as quite a few audience members.