More Bumpersticker Nonsense

Some folks may remember this Tale of the Bumpersticker from one of my trips over to Mr. Completely’s place of pistol practice and domicile. The link goes to the one I re-posted for posterity as the old post’s HTML was crapped (and because Kevin Baker asked nicely).

That is not the end of vengeful leftists attempting to make hay out of a bumpersticker.

Ravenwood found this tale from Roanoke Times editorialist, Christian Trejbal, where Trejbal rationalizes his political bigorty on the highways and byways of Virginia. He starts out by writing on the uber-numerous sets of personalized plates that Virginia cars have and then wanders onto the topic of bumperstickers.

They can reveal a lot about drivers, too. People clinging to their Nader 2000 stickers are either too lazy to clean their car or so die-hard they cannot move on.

At the other end of the political spectrum, stickers for failed Republican candidates such as George Allen and slogans of blind support for the president or the war in Iraq reveal much.

The nice thing about the political ones is that they encourage a marketplace of ideas on the highway. When I see a car plastered with stickers promoting candidates or views with which I disagree, I treat them just like the gas-guzzling, road-hogging sport utility vehicles I find equally morally bankrupt: I don’t yield to them.

When someone throws on a turn signal indicating he wants to break into traffic, in most circumstances there is no obligation to give way. If a vehicle sports one of those ironically misguided fish-eating-the-fish-with-feet, forget it. If it has the “Coexist” sticker with all those different religious symbols for letters, well, then I’ll make some room.

I assume people of all political persuasions follow similar driving maxims, even if subconsciously. One of the reasons to wear politics and religion on the sleeve — or in this case the bumper — is to evoke a reaction. Perhaps if enough motorists refused to yield to SUVs, their owners might reconsider their automotive choice.

Living in Seattle, I have been subject to people exactly like Mr. Trejbal. While I don’t drive an SUV, I do drive as a single occupant in a full sized truck. Once I step out of the truck, it is obvious why (I’m not a small guy and I like to be comfortable), but while driving I’m sure that assholes like Trejbal think I could do just fine in a Kia Rio.

Sorry, but no.

I still have two large red, white and blue magnetic ribbons and two medium sized, yellow “Keep My Soldier Safe” ribbons on the back of my truck, along with a few select pro-2nd Amendment stickers on the rear window of my canopy.

Once a week I can count on either being denied a lane or getting cut off by someone still sporting a Kerry/Edwards, an Air America or an “IMPEACH!” sticker on their car. And that is not counting the rest of the times I get denied or cut off by folks in vehicles without stickers.

Am I complaining? No, I drive both better and more defensively than anyone else out on Washington’s highways. Do I play “I’m a bigger bigot than you are!” with them? No, I’ll run anyone who tries to put me into a collision off the road any time I damn well please. Probably when they least expect it. I don’t need an idiotic bumpersticker to swing me into action.

Which is what pissed me off most about Trejbal’s screed; that last line about how “everybody does it, even if it is subconsciously”. Fuck him. Unlike him, I’m not insane and I’m not trying to make up for some inadequacy by inflicting my politics on others during a the commute or a run to the store.

What an asshole. Hippies walking up to me while I’m waiting for my ferry to dock is one thing. This guy needs his driver’s license revoked on the sole basis of his editorial.