The Soundboard: Dancing with Herself

Alternate title: She don’t love me, she loves my mp3 collection.

As I mentioned yesterday, today’s Soundboard tunage relates to a new invention called the “gPod”. If you weren’t here yesterday (tsk, tsk) then you should read up. Otherwise this is going to get kinda weird.

Are we all together now? OK then.

Obviously, with our knowledge of the new device, we can tell that any tunage will do the trick (except for that weenie ‘Emo’ crap), but probably only once or twice. It takes something more, mmm….intense, to be included in the “repeat shuffle” file. By intense, I speak of the frequencies on the lower end of the scal, 150hz and less.

Now that we know what were looking for, let’s talk about what we should avoid:

It is at this point that I warn that it gets a bit campy below the fold. Beware! If you do not have a sub hooked up, you will just hear a bit of random noise, a number of pauses, some samples and a few high-hats. If you only have a small, four or five inch sub hooked up, you’ll only hear down to around the 70hz mark and will miss some of the good stuff. Put your foot on the box. Don’t bother turning up the bass in your audio player EQ, you’ll just fuzz it up.

For the audiophiles, Enjoy!

Also Beware! Below gets sappy. For those weak of heart in that respect, just click on the highlighted links and hold on.

Some folks will go straight for the hip-hop/rap music for their fix. Sadly for them, they’ll find that the repetition of the beats will get boring after a while. All that poppin’ and lockin’ other folks use it for makes unsuitable as a tune she’ll go back for. And it is her choice after all, guys.

Other folks will think of using metal (aka “Metaaaaaal”). But again, sadly for them, they will find that there is little pitch variance in Vinnie Paul’s double bass and every Korn song turns into the same tune when you’re talking 150hz and below.

No, when I heard the gauntlet hit the ground as was thorwn by Joe, I immediately went into my file of drum and bass mixes.

I first thought of stopping through my rarities where some very oddball Depeche Mode tunes and one very strange remix of a Cure song reside, but decided against them for two reasons: 1. The internet isn’t ready for them yet, and 2. While chicks dig both Da Mode and Da Cure, there is very little of the sensuousness that draws them to those bands left in the remixes.

No, I knew it would take something special to fill the need here. But I didn’t have to search very long. I found two bits of tunage rather quickly when opened up a file I hadn’t been in for a few weeks. Oddly enough, they are both from the same album, which I’ll tell you about and link to in a moment.

I chose two songs because I couldn’t very well post five (which was my shortlist); my bandwidth would be gone by Thanksgiving and we can’t have that.

Now, here is how I am presenting them: Who is doing the listening.

If, for your purposes, gentlemen, you are surprising her with the new electronic product as a gift, you may want to surprise her with this first tune. You listen while she tries it out. She won’t know what’s coming (except for her). This first tune contains intense, multi-thrust, penetrating beats with a very thoughtful low vibration throughout the tune. We all know how women like us to be thoughtful, no don’t we?

In fact, we’re so thoughtful, that there is a pause near the end of the tune that makes as though coming back for part two. A second bite at the apple, if you will.

Here you go:

GG’s – Digital

For our second bit of tunage, we’re going to assume she is the one listening. Which is why this one fits better, because there are soaring, emotional vocals sampled in. The song starts out with some teaser beats, a bit of foreplay, if I may use that term.

Then a little ways in, a passionate, low throbbing baseline begins, with quick, poping staccato beats lain on top of it. The note varies ever so slightly until it is so deep that you cannot hear it, you can only feel it. The note gets louder and more intense throughout the song, with some pauses for effect until it gets so wound-up that the strong finish will surprise.

Here you go:

Til Dawn – S.P.Y.

Both of these tunes are from the album The Winter of Content by The Metalheadz.

For those that click through the link, you’ll see that, strangely enough, these tunes are numbers Six and Nine, respectively. I had nothing to do with that.