UPDATE: OK, so dingleberry still isn’t happy and he will not stop contacting my hosting service, annoying them to no end. He is done with the “You stole my content” yakety and is now probably only pressing on because of hurt feelings about being called a humorless git.
So, what we’re going to do here is forget that subtley is one of the main keys to humor and completely drop all allusions to it. This post below, while being framed off of his bilious piece and containing a number of the same words and phrases, has been modified to the extent that he can no longer whine about it not being funny “To Him”. What is below, while not “teh funny” I was going for, should be funny to just about everyone.
Join me, won’t you? And if there is something you think needs to be added, please leave your suggestions in the comments section.
Old stuff from yesterday scroll down to the blockquote
The blogger linked both here and below, Dave Marquardt of AllThingsDemocrat, has objected to the parodying of his post on ‘how the eevviill Republicans are going to try and steal another election’ (that was a paraphrase, in case you didn’t recognize it, Dave).
He has gone so far as to contact my hosting company, claiming that I infringed upon his copyright, to get me to change this post. After chatting with my hosting company, I agreed to change the post in the manner I describe below.
After looking up every bit of copyright law that I can find on the subject of parodies, I find that I am allowed to excerpt and modify anything I wish and then publish it. This is because “courts recognize that a parody must often take recognizable elements from the work it comments upon.”
So what I have done to allay his whines of copyright infringements is this: 1. Make sure that I have blatanly labelled this post as a parody, and 2. Linked to his original post twice instead of just once.
This completely kills the parody, but folks on the left have never been able to take a joke, always seeing their side of an argument as a “Struggle” instead of just a “Disagreement”. Which is why they have the tendancy to make conspiratorial and irrational statements such as the blog post I have parodied here.
Marquardt also objects to me connecting his original post to having any kind of connection with the DNC, even though he uses their rhetoric in his post and likewise assigns people to call their toll-free number to call with any perceived instance of vote fraud.
Since I subscribe to as many of the DNC’s emailing lists as I do their policies, I do not have proof that Marquardt has taken any direction from them or is doing this with their insistence. So I have removed any inference of that from the sentence with the original link to his post.
Due to being the first person to bitched and moaned hard enough to get me to change a post in my nearly four years of blogging here at RNS, Marquhardt has leapt to the head of the pack, beating out out my favorite lefty stalker/troll “Brenda” for the title of “Whiny Bitch of 2006”.
The original post begins below the fold.
I used to live in the leftist bastion of King County, where people take politicians like ‘Baghdad’ Jim McDermott seriously and votes for Republican candidates magically disappear. I was lucky enough to unass the area just earlier this year, but I still get mail from folks who work in political circles in the Fiefdom of King.
I found this in my e-mailbox yesterday from a local right-wing website in connection with the King County Republican Party and the RNC:
This post is to help prepare you in advance to commit fraud and irregularities and prepare yourself for the possibility of soiled underpants caused by attacks by Repugnican paid ninjas on Election Day. Since you have already registered your animal companions, every person you know living outside the United States and all of your undocumented worker friends to vote, we’ll now give you advice on how to vote multiple times at the actual polling places. We cannot allow another election to go to the eevviill Republicans because of their filthy, lying, sneaking Hobbitses! Power to the People!
We’re recommending that all Democrats go to their polling place prepared, if necessary, to flatulate, because we all know that Rethuglicans cannot stand the stench of truth. Patchouli is an acceptable substitute. We need to make sure that they do not vote, for it is the only way we’re going to be able to match those favorable polling numbers. Power to the People!
Conceal these items in your pants so that you’ll be able to cause any necessary distractions that will conceal your second, third or fourth vote: a digital or disposable camera, a mating pair of lemurs, any number of Barbara Streisand’s fine CDs, 2lbs of diced zucchini, and a stout pair crampons (in case the Republicans turn on their weather machines and start up a blizzard). Whatever it takes to distract from our attempts to commit voter fraud is what we must do. Power to the People!
When you arrive at your polling place, be alert! The Rethuglicans will try and stop you from voting more than once because they don’t believe in the Popular Vote. Observe the activities in the parking lot and outside of the polling place, because they will have their ninjas watching for you. Is there campaigning or intimidation going on within the posted allowed distance? If not, you need to start campaigning and intimidating. Power to the People!
If you are approached by the police, scream, cry and wail about them violating your rights. If there are media cameras in the vicinity, make sure you yell “Police Brutality!” at the top of your lungs. If we can get a bunch of these incidents on voting day, we can claim it was conspiracy. If you see a Rethuglican, try telling them that they are at the wrong place, or that it’s the wrong day. Remember, we Democrats are much smarter than the Repugnicans. Power to the People!
Know the basics of election law. Each state has it’s own election laws that pertain to lawful behavior of voters and election officials at the polling place. These are arcane and useless, but if you know what they think you’ll do, you’ll know what they aren’t expecting. Power to the People!
This is probably common sense, but since you are a Democrat and have none, let us explain it to you: if your state uses ballots that are scanned, make sure you are not trying to vote more than once under the same person’s name. This will only lead to “The Man” coming down on you like a brick shithouse. Power to the People!
If you witness any questionable or unlawful acts, check first to see if the person who is committing these acts is a fellow Democrat. If they are, forget what you saw and keep moving. This polling place is covered, MoveOn.Org to the next one. Power to the People!
REMEMBER: Rethuglicans have horns protruding from their foreheads and at least one slave that follows them everywhere carrying their bloodstained barrel of oil! If you see one of them voting, you must immediately notify any election official in the polling place and INSIST that they immediately stop. Make up any excuse you can think of, we cannot allow Repugs to vote in this election. Power to the People!
If the election official is not willing or able to stop the offender, that is because he/she is also a Rethuglican and you must immediately call the police and start your distraction. This will close down the polling place until things have calmed down and the impatient Rethugs will probably just leave. The offenders are attempting to steal the election by voting. This cannot be allowed. Power to the People!
When you leave the polling place, be alert to unlawful activities outside the building. Once again, there should be no Repugs allowed to vote. Use your campaigning, verbal or physical intimidation, or whatever other activities you can think of to stop them from entering the polling place. If necessary, take the extra time to go back into the polling place and vote again if you have not stopped a Rethug from voting that day. Power to the People!
And finally, The DNC has provided a toll free number to report Rethuglican voter fraud: 1-888-DEM-VOTE. Even if you are satisfied with your corrective actions of stopping a Repug from voting, you MUST call the voter fraud line to report whatever fallacy you can make up. If you report that you were beaten by a gang of Rethugs, make sure you insult a biker gang beforehand so that you can prove injuries. The DNC will follow-up and ensure that everything was done correctly. Do not disappoint us. Power to the People!
With a little effort, we can reduce the chances of another stolen election or at least get a close one we can try and win via the courts. Don’t forget: the day to vote is Tuesday, November 7th. Check the date on the wall when you go to cash the check from your parents/guardians. Even better, have them call you the day before to remind you. Power to the People!
I certainly hope for the sake of the local and state party members that none of the local Democrats get wind of this notice. They will have a conniption and probably try and sue for slander. I don’t live in King County any more, but these are probably good ideas just about anywhere.
Follow me below the fold and I’ll tell you what else I know about this email that I can’t say on the front page
(this is where the original split was and where the parody ended)
What I can’t say on the front page is that I was intentionally misleading you above the fold. Or, in honest terms, also known as “Lying”.
I changed out all references from Dem to Repub and cut out the local info pertaining to the State of Arizona, but the message is otherwise untouched.
To them, your vote does not count because you are evil and wrong and probably also killing the planet, and if they get the chance to change an “L” to a “W” in any race by any means, they will.
Please follow the advice they are both so adamant about and so kind to give. While I won’t be able to devote a whole day to watching my polling place, I will be getting up early that day and staying there until I have to head off for work, possibly later if it looks hairy.
No injury, no lawsuit. The (D)onks weren’t mentioned by name.
I assume KC still has polling places. Down here in Thurston County, it’s all mail, so they can steal votes where nobody’s watching.
More reasons to be glad I moved to Idaho in 1999
You need to get a new hosting company. The tort claim that the subject of your lampoon would have brought in a lawsuit would have been Defamation of Character.
It’s almost impossible to bring such a claim under the WA constitution, and not much easier under the Federal Constitution. While there may be a lawyer or two who might file such a lawsuit, any corporate attorney that your hosting company retained would tell them that such a lampoon would never make it to the status of a legally-contestable tort.
If your hosting company is forcing bloggers who pay for the right to publish to toe such an invisible line, it’s time the hosting company wised up, lest a blogger such as yourself file a claim of prior restraint and censorship, both of which ARE legally-contestable claims.
Were I blogging on your hosting company’s bandwidth, Phil, I would make sure my backups were done frequently, and I would have another hosting company in my back pocket to be able to migrate to quickly.
What a tool! It’s the same stupid liberal playbook:
– When you can’t win, shout them down.
– When you don’t like what a speaker’s saying, throw a pie or storm the stage, how dare they think they’re free to speak.
– When you don’t like what they’re saying on the radio and nobody listens to your worthless, bankrupt, stealing from boys&girls clubs Air America, call for a requirement for matching time for the opposite point of view in the name of “fairness”.
– When you’re almost out of ideas to obstruct the conveyance of their free speech, enter the legal system.
– When all else fails, call them a nazi or racist. (I think that comes next)
I’m still laughing at the ‘hobbitses’ reference, btw.
Glad you liked it, Steve.
It just go to show why I rarely go for subtley.
I love it, you have outdone Yourself yet again. The only change I would make is where you refer to stashing essential equipment in the pants, you should make reference to the Esteemed Leader Sandy Berger, who showed all good (D)onks just how to do that tactic.
Phil, you channeling the Democratic Underground on this last one???
Nice.
Dave. Get over it, you tool…
You ought to alternate the “Power to the People!” tagline with something along the lines of “Kill them all and their little dog, too!” — as that probably very closely matches what the
evil fascistsdemonrats are actually thinking.